Lead with Your Heart . . . Lessons from a Life with Horses

Table of Contents

Introduction: Walking between Worlds

Teaching and Learning
Find the right place to start
The horse is a mirror
Teaching is one phase; training is three
Bring a new question every day
Reward abundantly
The benefit of the doubt is a chance for success
Let mistakes happen
Correct, then caress
Back up for respect
The feather is mightier than the whip
Patience is compassion
Cultivate a beginner's mind
Are we having fun yet?
Finish better than you started
Look for the breakthrough and seize it
Provide a way out
Make the right way the easy way
Know when to let go
It all begins at the gate
Escalate out of the comfort zone
Agendas hurt the relationship
Nagging is the handmaiden of failure
Ask, request, demand, and promise
The better the trainer, the less the training
Training trumps bloodlines
Find the way to celebrate
Horse whispering means being clearly heard
Doctrines don't fail; methods do
Patience creates time; time creates success
Stutter steps build memory
Hesitation precedes understanding
A tired horse will eagerly stand still
Balance fear and curiosity
A windy day can make any horse stupid
Learn the ABCs of teaching
Wait for the lightbulb moment
Back up to perfection
Black and white are fine; shades of gray confuse
The faster you go, the worse it gets

Mindfulness: Attention and Inattention
Never take a day for granted
Every moment has meaning
Intention focuses energy to effect change
Behold the eye
Elegance is economy
Make it a habit
Know how to be silent
Timing must be impeccable
Cultivate an eye for detail
The mind shapes intention, but the body delivers it
Clear your mind
Drop the reins
The horse's reward is peace
Horses don't lie; people do
Thinking knows; seeing believes
A goal is a trap
For horses, more than four is a bore
Lists grow as time shrinks
Stop wondering if it's quitting time
Cinch four times; mount once
Life is a series of plans punctuated by the unexpected and the unavoidable
Equipment is character

Stalking Happiness
Invite the horse into a herd of two
Practice affection
Put love in your hands
Hunt happiness
Seek the heart of gold
Just breathe
Loosen up
Tranquility comes with each turn
Head position tells a tale

Leading and Following
Real power is born from stillness
Use your mind, not the lead rope
Get far more with far less
The answer lies at liberty
Master pressure, not punishment
Boundaries define the geography of respect
Find the curve of compromise
Lead by invitation
Partnership is purpose
Greater power comes from less pressure
The lower the head, the better the frame of mind
The lead rope reveals the relationship
Footwork: dominance first, then respect
Horses act out forever, until they quit
Circle for safety
Never take the trail for granted
Leadership is determined by the four Cs
Give credit
SPS: self-praise stinks
Lead with your heart
A physical confrontation is a defeat
Before danger strikes, consider the possibilities
Avoid idleness; employ stillness
To be heard, whisper
Overcome with leverage, not resistance
The more a horse spooks, the less afraid he becomes
Leaders assume the risk for all
Loyalty is never convenient
Horsemanship transforms

Energy and Emotion
Combining energy and emotion is a choice
To know when to release is to know why
Energy is duality
The ground is closest to the truth
Energy is sticky
Grow beyond instinct
Rhythmic movement is predictable energy

Breaking Through
There is no best way
To conquer problems, imagine solutions
Don't fix problems; change them
Tackle small problems before they become big ones
Try the 180-degree solution
Love is never the problem

Epilogue: There is still time for the predator to turn to the herd
Acknowledgments