Read an Excerpt
The Hard Truth About Soft Skills
Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They'd Learned Sooner
Chapter One
Control yourself
- Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job.
- There's no such thing as work-life balance, only trade-offs.
- Years of loyalty can work against you.
- Listen to your gut—it's full of data.
- No risks, no rewards.
- Get out of your own way.
- Learn the honest truth about integrity.
- You have to be good to be lucky.
A few years ago, an HR executive at a Fortune 500 company said to me, "Peggy, I can't believe how many people believe their bosses wake up in the morning thinking, 'Gee, let's see what I can do for you today.'" Her point was this: Chances are, nobody will ever care about your career more than you do—except for, well, maybe your parents or spouse. This means you must take responsibility for managing your own career—don't even think about leaving it to anyone else. I'm not saying that those around you at work aren't interested in helping you succeed. But their focus is mainly on themselves—their own projects, trajectory, and careers.
And similarly, your focus should remain squarely on you. Even when you don't work for yourself, managing your own career means wearing the many hats of an entrepreneur. Start thinking like the CEO, marketing manager, sales force, HR director, head of product design, and talent coordinator of your own company—a company of one, which is you.
Why is it so important that you take the reins when it comes to career management? First, gone are the days ofjob security. Mergers, acquisitions, downsizing, and international competition have done away with that. The average working American will now have between ten and twelve jobs and three to five careers during his or her lifetime. Second, people across the board—including your boss, his or her boss, and the HR director—are being asked to juggle more and more assignments, often combining the responsibilities of two or three people into one job. Most of the folks you assume are thinking about your career simply don't have the time or the energy, and you certainly can't expect them to be psychic when it comes to knowing what you want for your future. Third, those who let their careers "just happen" or expect employers to orchestrate them will end up disappointed. Unfortunately, most graduates are completely unprepared for their first encounter with these harsh realities—especially given that some of them have grown accustomed to e-mailing their college papers home for their parents to edit!
Whether just starting out or well on your way, one of the most important things you can do is take responsibility for yourself—your career, your goals, and your own behavior. Doing so begins with a very healthy dose of self-awareness and a commitment to self-management. Indeed, both are at the foundation of soft skills mastery—you'll see them time and time again throughout the rest of the book. In the lessons presented in this chapter, you'll find a variety of soft skills at play, including engaging in self-assessment on a continual basis, being personally accountable, creating a work life that makes sense, taking risks, listening to your intuition, and attracting luck. I'll also touch upon another soft skills area that will never go out of style: old-fashioned honesty and integrity.
Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job.
<Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Introduction: The Hard Truth About Soft Skills 1
Control Yourself 7
Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job
There's no such thing as work-life balance, only trade-offs
Years of loyalty can work against you
Listen to your gut-it's full of data
No risks, no rewards
Get out of your own way
Learn the honest truth about integrity
You have to be good to be lucky
Getting the Job Done 31
Your boss wants you to figure it out
Learn when to stick and when to shift or the details will hang you
When you can't deliver, don't say yes... but be careful how you say no
Your procrastination is trying to tell you something
Whining is for kids... and even then, no one wants to hear it
Manage your meetings... or else
Common sense is far too uncommon
When you Open Your Mouth... and Then Some 51
Listening is part art, part science, and all important
Adjust your communication accordingly
Say the magic words: please, thank you, and I'm sorry
Keep your mouth shut
Get smart about asking dumb questions
Learn how to present without needing betablockers
Handling your Critics 69
Books are judged by their covers and the same is true for you
Don't be the last one to find out how you're doing
Never tolerate a bully boss-even if you have to quit
You don't need to be everyone's best friend-that's what dogs are for
Your greatest tormentor might prove to be your greatest teacher
Know where to draw the line between self-improvement and self-destruction
Stay cool in the hotseat
What, me Political? 91
Learn the unspoken rules of your workplace
Two heads are better than one, so find a mentor
Don't let the fear of "sucking up" hold you back
When it comes to gossip, learn the art of deflection
Think long and hard about going over your boss's head
Manage your affairs: kiss with caution!
Branding and Bragging 109
Think of yourself as a cereal brand
Turn your accomplishments into a story
Tooting your own horn isn't just for performance reviews
You're only as good as your last movie, so keep your brags fresh
Put the right words in their mouths
Keep your visibility when you're not face-to-face
Stop credit thieves in their tracks
Hot Buttons: Gender, Generation, and Culture 131
Don't take it personally
Raise your sensitivity antenna
Competition is a double-edged sword
Find the silver lining
Stop stereotypes from sinking you
Leading the Troops 151
Know what you're getting into
A good manager knows when to lead
Avoid being a know-it-all, say-it-all, control-it-all kind of boss
People aren't mind readers
You're the boss, stupid, that's why they hang on your every word
Treat everyone equally
The impostor syndrome will follow you up the ladder
A little humility takes you a long way
Afterword: Don't Skip your Soft Skills 175
Acknowledgments 181
Index 183