Table of Contents
Foreword Temple Grandin 13
Acknowledgments 15
1 About Me 17
2 The Invisible Autistic Girl 21
3 Embracing Who You Are 27
Viewing Autistic Strengths as a Superpower 29
Understanding Your Autistic Brain 30
When Labels Are Problematic 32
To Tell or Not to Tell 35
Telling Family Members 37
Telling Your School 40
Telling Your Classmates 42
Strength in Numbers 43
4 The Importance of Being Yourself 45
Masking to Fit In 45
Social Exhaustion 48
Loss of Identity 50
When Masking Backfires 51
Masking and Mental Health 53
Being Yourself 55
5 Managing Your Sensory Sensitivities and Sensory Overloads 58
Sensitivity to Light 64
Sensitivity to Sound 65
Sensitivity to Smell 68
Sensitivity to Textures and Taste 68
Sensitivity to Touch 69
Sensitivity to Sights 70
Autism-Friendly Safe Spaces 71
6 Taking Care of Your Body 73
Starting a Skincare Routine 76
Brushing Your Teeth 78
Visiting the Dentist 79
The Art of Shaving 80
That Time of the Month 81
Period Basics 81
Period Products 82
Period Apps 84
Managing Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) 85
Period Etiquette 86
7 Understanding Your Emotions and Looking After Your Mental Health 87
Social Anxiety 91
Anxiety 97
Dealing with Our Emotions 100
Depression 101
Self-Harm 103
Suicide 105
Building Resilience 107
8 Finding Your Fashion Style 109
Developing Your Own Personal Fashion Style 110
The Importance of Wearing a Bra 113
Makeup: To Wear or Not Wear 116
9 Socializing and Making Friends 118
Don't Try to Be Someone You're Not 119
Useful Conversation Starters 119
Finding Like-Minded Friends 120
Be Disciplined in Your Conversation Skills 121
Edit What You Say Aloud 121
Being a Good Friend 122
Work on Understanding How Other People Feel 125
Ask Friends for Support 126
Avoid Gossip 127
Apologize When You Make A Mistake 128
Avoid Toxic Friendships 129
Don't Force Yourself to Socialize If You Don't Feel Up to It 130
10 Crushes and Dating 132
Recognizing Romantic Feelings 133
Asking Someone Out on a Date 134
Handling Rejection 137
Turning Someone Down 137
Healthy and Respectful Romantic Relationships 138
Sex Education 138
Your Body Belongs to You 139
Consent and Safety 139
Sexual Abuse 141
Knowing When to Move On 142
Staying Single is Fine 142
11 Gender Identity: Androgyny, Gender Fluidity and Transgender Girls 144
Transgender Girls 146
Transgender and Autism 146
Coming Out 147
Dealing with Parents and Family 149
Transitioning 150
Public Bathrooms 152
Sexual Orientation and Relationships 153
Identifying Positively as Autistic Trans 154
12 How to Survive School 155
Tips on How to Survive School 156
Managing an Overstimulating Sensory Environment 156
Handling Changes in Schedules and Routines 158
Executive Functioning Challenges 160
Break Down a Task into Smaller Sub-Tasks 162
Get Duplicates 163
Get into a Routine 163
Learn to Prioritize 164
Find the Right Work Environment 164
Socializing Challenges 164
Intolerance of Autistic Behavior 166
Coping with Unstructured Breaks 167
Coping with Inconsistent Rules and Expectations 168
Coping with Teamwork and Collaboration 169
Coping with Class Participation 170
Fine Motor Skill Difficulties 171
General Motor Skill Difficulties 172
Changing-Room Challenges 173
School Cafeteria Challenges 174
School Uniform Challenges 175
Knowing When to Move to a Different School 176
The Benefits of Home Education 177
Surviving Toxic Teachers 179
13 Bullying 183
What Is Bullying? 183
Why Me? 187
From Zero to Sixty 187
Dealing with Your School 188
A Word About Teachers 188
The Blame Game 189
Reconciliation Meetings 190
Document, Document, Document 191
Strategies to Use if You're Being Bullied 193
Using Assertive Body Language 197
Practicing Assertiveness 198
Friends or Frenemies? 200
When Bullying Wrecks Your Physical, Emotional and Mental Health 201
Sexual Harassment 202
Getting Your Life Back on Track 204
14 Co-occurring Conditions 205
ADHD in Autistic Girls 206
Common Signs of ADHD in Girls 207
Suggested School Accommodations 208
Anxiety 209
Common Triggers 209
Physical Symptoms of Anxiety 209
Suggested School Accommodations 210
Dyslexia 211
Common Signs of Dyslexia 212
Suggested School Accommodations 213
Dyspraxia 214
Common Signs of Dyspraxia 215
Suggested School Accommodations 216
Hypermobility 217
Symptoms of Hypermobility 217
Hypermobility Treatments 218
Managing Your Hypermobility 218
Suggested School Accommodations 219
Gastrointestinal Disorders 219
Suggested School Accommodations 219
15 Navigating the Perils of Social Media and the Internet 220
Being Smart and Safe Online 221
Protect Your Identity 221
Use a Gender-Neutral Screen Name 222
Don't Share Your Passwords 223
Be Nice Online 224
Think Before You Post 224
Don't Post Anything Inappropriate 226
Always Remember that the Internet is Forever 226
Don't Respond to Mean Messages 227
Don't Meet Online Friends in Real Life 227
Never Forget the Many Dangers of Sexting 228
Coming Across Upsetting Material 231
Making Online Purchases 232
Cyberbullying 233
Don't Measure Your Own Life Based on What Others Post 235
A Word About Self-Esteem 236
16 Celebrating Neurodiversity 238
Where to Find More Information 241
Autism-Related Websites 241
Bullying Websites 243
Mental Health Websites 244
Sexuality and Gender Identity Websites 245
Useful Websites 246
Recommended Reading 248
Index 250
