Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Change

A much-needed perspective on how to mother difficult adult children while balancing one’s own needs.

Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers relatable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child?

With guidance for finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child, Difficult is a compassionate resource for those living in a family situation which too many keep secret and allows readers to see that they are not alone.

ISBN-13: 9781538138885

Media Type: Hardcover

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers - Inc.

Publication Date: 02-15-2022

Pages: 280

Product Dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.80(d)

Judith R. Smith, PhD, LCSW, is a leader in gerontological research focusing on women’s experiences as they age. She is a senior clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and professor of social work at Fordham University. She lives in New York City with her husband.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements Author’s Note Part One Intro– Through A Mother’s Eyes Chapter 1: What is a Difficult Adult Child? Chapter 2: Once a Mother, Always a Mother? Chapter 3: Give Me Shelter Chapter 4: Shame and Blame Chapter 5: Torn in Two Chapter 6: Mental Illness in the Family Chapter 7: Who Cares for the Mentally Ill? Chapter 8: Substance Abuse in the Family Chapter 9: Chromic Sorrow Chapter 10: Violence in the Family Chapter 11: Pain of the Past Part Two Intro– Small Steps Chapter 12: Stages of Change Chapter 13: Seeing and Not Seeing Chapter 14: Self-Assessment Part Three Intro– Helping yourself Chapter 15: Social Support Chapter 16: Self-care Chapter 17: Staying Safe Chapter 18: Helping Your Adult Child Get Help Chapter 19: What comes next? Appendix A: Resources for Mothers and Adult Children Appendix B: Research Methodology Appendix C: The Mothers Notes Index About the Author Show More