|
Introduction |
xvii |
Part I |
The Spiritual Path to Love |
|
1. |
Buddhism for Lovers and Partners |
3 |
2. |
Say Hello to Your Beloved: Sufism |
15 |
3. |
Learn to Trust Yourself: The Society of Friends |
17 |
4. |
Explore the Source of an Enduring Bond |
19 |
5. |
Discover the Freedom of Beginner's Mind |
29 |
6. |
Tune In to Yourself, Tune In to Your Lover |
34 |
Part II |
I, You, and Us: A Dance in Three Parts |
|
7. |
Experience the "Us" Place of Relationship: Becoming More Than We Could Be Alone |
39 |
8. |
Experience Living in an "Us" Place |
42 |
9. |
Create More "Us" Consciousness |
44 |
10. |
Feel the Healing Power of Connection |
50 |
Part III |
Look in Your Own Mirror |
|
11. |
Recognize the Masks You Wear |
55 |
12. |
Ask Yourself, "Am I Talking About Myself?" |
58 |
13. |
Remember to Ask, "Who Owns the Problem?" |
60 |
14. |
Live in the Center of Your Own Life |
61 |
15. |
Notice the Stories You Tell Yourself |
63 |
Part IV |
The Daily Practice of Living and Loving |
|
16. |
Treasure Trust: Keep Agreements with Great Care |
67 |
17. |
Tune In to Your Deeper Motivation |
70 |
18. |
"That's Not What I Said": Notice Your Interpretations |
72 |
19. |
Learn to Trust Your Intuition |
76 |
20. |
Of Love and Litter: Dealing with Compulsions in Relationships |
79 |
21. |
Explore Meditation and Psychotherapy |
84 |
Part V |
When I Was a Child, I Spoke as a Child: Am I Still Doing It Now? |
|
22. |
Ask Yourself, "What Age Am I at This Moment?" |
91 |
23. |
Find Out Who Married Whom |
97 |
24. |
Recognize the Value of "Leaving Home" |
99 |
25. |
Explore Levels of Relationships |
102 |
26. |
Level One: Afraid to Be Close, Afraid to Be Separate |
104 |
27. |
Level Two: Sometimes I See You, Sometimes I Don't |
106 |
28. |
Level Three: Knowing Yourself So You Can Know Your Beloved |
113 |
29. |
Level Four: Feeling at Peace with Closeness and Separateness |
118 |
30. |
Level Five: I and Thou--We Are One, We Are Two |
120 |
Part VI |
Communion Is the Purpose of Communication |
|
31. |
Tune In to the Dance of Sending and Receiving Messages |
127 |
32. |
Remember the Basics of Good Communication |
128 |
33. |
Give No Advice--Well, Most of the Time |
133 |
34. |
Ask for No Advice--Except Sometimes |
136 |
35. |
You Can Defend Yourself Without Being Defensive |
138 |
36. |
Learn the Art of Apology |
140 |
37. |
Rebuild the Bridge: Forgiveness and Letting Go |
143 |
Part VII |
Make Friends with Conflict |
|
38. |
The Art of Handling Conflict |
149 |
39. |
Meeting Our Differences: Fight the Good Fight |
150 |
40. |
Practice Conflict Prevention |
154 |
41. |
Recognize Counterfeit Conflicts |
157 |
42. |
Remember, We Are Animals with a Neocortex: Recognize Fight, Flight, and Freeze Reactions |
160 |
43. |
Recognize the Many Faces of Anger |
164 |
44. |
What to Do When You Reach an Impasse |
175 |
45. |
Learn Fair-Fight Rules |
179 |
46. |
Learn to Self-Soothe |
182 |
47. |
More Clarity, More Love: Help a Good Relationship Get Better |
188 |
Part VIII |
Making Love with the Beloved |
|
48. |
Making Love: The Union of Body and Spirit |
193 |
49. |
Sexual High or Sexual Connection: What's the Difference? |
199 |
50. |
Finding Out Why the Fire Has Faded |
204 |
51. |
Deepen Your Sexual Bond |
207 |
52. |
Support Each Other Being Completely Honest |
210 |
53. |
Stay Lovers During the Parenting Years |
213 |
54. |
Understand the True Meaning of Monogamy |
215 |
55. |
What to Do with Attraction to Others |
217 |
56. |
Make Love with a Beginner's Mind |
221 |
Part IX |
I and Thou: Even Good Relationships Can Get Better |
|
57. |
Keep Your Relationship Dancing |
227 |
58. |
Be Creative Together |
230 |
59. |
Remember, Our Task Is to Expand Our Love--Not to Change Others |
232 |
60. |
Accept Life's Daily Losses |
235 |
61. |
Relationships Need Tending, and Tending Takes Time |
239 |
62. |
Your Loving Relationship Blesses the World |
241 |
|
Recommended Reading |
245 |
|
Resources |
249 |