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If the Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path - Paperback | Diverse Reads

If the Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path

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Zen and the art of lasting relationships . . .

Filled with the same lighthearted, highly practical, spiritually sound guidance that resonated with readers of If the Buddha Dated, this book is a fresh and inspiring guide for anyone who wants to strengthen, deepen, or revitalize a relationship or marriage. Charlotte Kasl, PhD, renowned for her ability to speak with depth, wisdom, and humor on important matters of the heart, empowers us to create fulfilling and vibrant relationships throuhg a commitment to awareness, truth, and compassion.

If the Buddha Married explores how a "beginner's mind" can help us see our partners and ourselves afresh each day as we learn to nurture our commitment to each other. Marriage is truly a journey. Combining key teachings of Buddhism, Christianity, and other spiritual traditions with elements of psychology, this book is a wise and trusted guide through the joys and challenges of relationships that last and grow.

ISBN-13: 9780140196221

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group

Publication Date: 05-01-2001

Pages: 272

Product Dimensions: 5.06(w) x 7.13(h) x 0.45(d)

Age Range: 18 Years

Series: Compass

Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D., a practicing therapist and nationally recognized workshop leader for more than 20 years, has had lifelong connections to feminism, Buddhism, Quaker practice, and Reiki healing. The author of several books including Finding Joy, she lives in Lolo, Montana.

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"We've all heard that mariage can be a spiritual experience; [listening to] this book, you actually believe it." —-Marianne Williamson, bestselling author of A Return to Love

Table of Contents

Introduction xvii
Part I The Spiritual Path to Love
1. Buddhism for Lovers and Partners 3
2. Say Hello to Your Beloved: Sufism 15
3. Learn to Trust Yourself: The Society of Friends 17
4. Explore the Source of an Enduring Bond 19
5. Discover the Freedom of Beginner's Mind 29
6. Tune In to Yourself, Tune In to Your Lover 34
Part II I, You, and Us: A Dance in Three Parts
7. Experience the "Us" Place of Relationship: Becoming More Than We Could Be Alone 39
8. Experience Living in an "Us" Place 42
9. Create More "Us" Consciousness 44
10. Feel the Healing Power of Connection 50
Part III Look in Your Own Mirror
11. Recognize the Masks You Wear 55
12. Ask Yourself, "Am I Talking About Myself?" 58
13. Remember to Ask, "Who Owns the Problem?" 60
14. Live in the Center of Your Own Life 61
15. Notice the Stories You Tell Yourself 63
Part IV The Daily Practice of Living and Loving
16. Treasure Trust: Keep Agreements with Great Care 67
17. Tune In to Your Deeper Motivation 70
18. "That's Not What I Said": Notice Your Interpretations 72
19. Learn to Trust Your Intuition 76
20. Of Love and Litter: Dealing with Compulsions in Relationships 79
21. Explore Meditation and Psychotherapy 84
Part V When I Was a Child, I Spoke as a Child: Am I Still Doing It Now?
22. Ask Yourself, "What Age Am I at This Moment?" 91
23. Find Out Who Married Whom 97
24. Recognize the Value of "Leaving Home" 99
25. Explore Levels of Relationships 102
26. Level One: Afraid to Be Close, Afraid to Be Separate 104
27. Level Two: Sometimes I See You, Sometimes I Don't 106
28. Level Three: Knowing Yourself So You Can Know Your Beloved 113
29. Level Four: Feeling at Peace with Closeness and Separateness 118
30. Level Five: I and Thou--We Are One, We Are Two 120
Part VI Communion Is the Purpose of Communication
31. Tune In to the Dance of Sending and Receiving Messages 127
32. Remember the Basics of Good Communication 128
33. Give No Advice--Well, Most of the Time 133
34. Ask for No Advice--Except Sometimes 136
35. You Can Defend Yourself Without Being Defensive 138
36. Learn the Art of Apology 140
37. Rebuild the Bridge: Forgiveness and Letting Go 143
Part VII Make Friends with Conflict
38. The Art of Handling Conflict 149
39. Meeting Our Differences: Fight the Good Fight 150
40. Practice Conflict Prevention 154
41. Recognize Counterfeit Conflicts 157
42. Remember, We Are Animals with a Neocortex: Recognize Fight, Flight, and Freeze Reactions 160
43. Recognize the Many Faces of Anger 164
44. What to Do When You Reach an Impasse 175
45. Learn Fair-Fight Rules 179
46. Learn to Self-Soothe 182
47. More Clarity, More Love: Help a Good Relationship Get Better 188
Part VIII Making Love with the Beloved
48. Making Love: The Union of Body and Spirit 193
49. Sexual High or Sexual Connection: What's the Difference? 199
50. Finding Out Why the Fire Has Faded 204
51. Deepen Your Sexual Bond 207
52. Support Each Other Being Completely Honest 210
53. Stay Lovers During the Parenting Years 213
54. Understand the True Meaning of Monogamy 215
55. What to Do with Attraction to Others 217
56. Make Love with a Beginner's Mind 221
Part IX I and Thou: Even Good Relationships Can Get Better
57. Keep Your Relationship Dancing 227
58. Be Creative Together 230
59. Remember, Our Task Is to Expand Our Love--Not to Change Others 232
60. Accept Life's Daily Losses 235
61. Relationships Need Tending, and Tending Takes Time 239
62. Your Loving Relationship Blesses the World 241
Recommended Reading 245
Resources 249