Table of Contents
Introduction Rebecca Soffer Gabrielle Birkner xiii
Collateral Damage: But Wait, There's More? 1
Introduction Rebecca Soffer 3
A Wake Anthony King 11
The Would-Bes Eileen Smith 17
The Second Third Child Eric Meyer 21
There Won't Be Blood Ruby Dutcher 27
Mother Figure Elizabeth Percer 31
Things to Know Before Scattering Ashes Tré Miller Rodríguez 38
Triggers: What Sets Us Off Might Surprise You 41
Introduction Gabrielle Birkner 43
A Little to the Left Amanda Palmer 49
When Mom Kan't Keep Up with the Kardashians Kate Spencer 57
Brain Games Chamique Holdsclaw 63
Thanksgiving After Jack Anna Whiston-Donaldson 67
The Barren Field Helen Chernikoff 71
The Dos and Don'ts of Building Your Crew 76
Intimacy: 1 − 1 + 1 = ? 79
Introduction Rebecca Soffer 81
Meet the Twins: Grief and Desire Emily Rapp Black 87
Are You My Papi? Mathew Rodriguez 93
What's Good Enough Now LaNeah "Starshell" Menzies 97
Taboo Times Two Alice Radosh 103
The Promise Mattie J. Bekink 109
Guess Who's (Not) Coming to Dinner? Surviving Small Talk After a Loss Rebecca Shaloff Modern Loss 114
Identity: Who We Were and Who We've Become 117
Introduction Gabrielle Birkner 119
Four Little Words, One Big Meaning Michael Flamini 125
Dad-die Issues Yassir Lester 133
The Dead-Brother Code Switch Rachel Sklar 137
Making Peace with My Mother's Whiteness Amy Mihyang Ginther 145
Just Say Uncle Michael Arceneaux 149
Survivor Gilt: Creative Ways to Use What's Left Behind Instead of Banishing it to Storage Purgatory Stacy London 154
Inheritance: Property of: 157
Introduction Rebecca Soffer 159
Icky Pop Sara Faith Alterman 165
Honey, Don't Screw Up the Namesake David Sax 171
The Accidental Archivist Spencer Merolla 175
Under the House Julie Satow 179
Uncle Ron Kim Goldman 185
There's No Will. What the Bleep Do I Do Now? Amanda Clayman 190
Data: Loss (and Found) in the Digital Universe 193
Introduction Rebecca Soffer 195
My Husband's Death Went Viral, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt Nora McInerny 199
Confessions of a Gmail Hoarder Brian Stelter 205
Unrecovered Meg Tansey 211
Meeting Patricia, Aunt Esther's Amazon Alter Ego Joey Chernila 215
A Brief Guide to Griefspeak 222
Secrets: What They Didn't Tell Us, and What We Aren't Telling Others 225
Introduction Gabrielle Birkner 227
My Dead Husband, the Serial Adulterer Robyn Woodman 231
Practice Imperfect Rachel M. Ward 237
And the Oscar Goes to … Catherine Fennelly 241
Forever Younger Caroline Waxler 247
F Is for Forgiveness Haley Tanner 251
Word Life After Loss 255
Journey's: Where We've Headed but Not Necessarily Ended Up 257
Introduction Rebecca Soffer 259
My Wedding Grown's Last Dance Lucy Kalanithi 265
Where the Heart No Longer Is Jacqueline Murekatete 273
Feet, Pain, Love Sarah Fox 277
From a Purple Room to the Obama White House Marisa Renee Lee 283
Art Imitates Loss Michael Greif as told to Rebecca Soffer 287
Patches Tanzila Ahmed 291
Shit People Say, But Really Shouldn't 298
Absence + Time: What Comes Later 301
Introduction Gabrielle Birkner 303
David Elisa Albert 307
Considering the Alternative Artis Henderson 313
The Deathday-Birthday Nikki Reimer 319
Double Digits Nishta J. Mehra 325
Acknowledgments 329
Notes 333
Credits 337
