Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.

ISBN-13: 9781944934989

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: Thornapple Press

Publication Date: 10-23-2020

Pages: 288

Product Dimensions: 5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)

Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist, public speaker and trauma and relationship expert. In her international private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. Naava Smolash, who sometimes writes under the pen name Nora Samaran, is the author of Turn This World Inside Out: The Emergence of Nurturance Culture (AK Press, 2019). Eve Rickert is the co-author of More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (Thorntree Press, 2014).

Table of Contents

Foreword ix

Acknowledgments xii

Glossary xvi

Introduction 1

Part 1 11

Chapter 1 An Overview of Attachment Theory 13

Chapter 2 The Different Dimensions of Attachment 55

Chapter 3 The Nested Model of Attachment and Trauma 73

Part 2 99

Chapter 4 Consensual Nonmonogamy 101

Chapter 5 Attachment and Nonmonogamy 117

Chapter 6 The Importance of Attachment in Consensual Nonmonogamy 127

Part 3 159

Chapter 7 The Foundations of Being Polysecure in Your Relationships 161

Chapter 8 The Hearts of Being Polysecure 173

Chapter 9 The S in Hearts-Secure Attachment with Self 197

Chapter 10 Common Questions and Final Thoughts 229

Notes 241

Bibliography 251

Index 261

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