Table of Contents
Introduction 1
The Early Years
Chapter 1 Clothes Hounds: How simple T-shirts lead to big differences in how we raise our kids. 21
Chapter 2 Nature Versus Nurture: There are real, proven gaps between the sexes, but not as many as we create in our parenting and societal messages. 35
Chapter 3 The Low Dad Bar: In expecting very little from dads, society does two things at once: cut dads out of the everyday lives of our children, and pigeonhole women as the caretakers. It's a lose-lose paradigm we can shift together. 45
Chapter 4 You Are What You Eat: We bombard children with horrible messages that appearance is more important than health, but we can make big gains through subtle shifts in how we speak to our kids about simple things like food. 57
Chapter 5 Boys Will Be Boy: We men need to do a better job raising boys to enjoy a full spectrum of emotion while no longer shrugging off poor behavior. It all adds up to serious lifetime consequences for boys-and girls. 67
Growing Up
Chapter 6 Her Best Frenemy: We do a lot of damage in raising girls to only be "nice," so let's do a better job in helping our kids express themselves. 87
Chapter 7 Sorry, Not Sorry: The word sorry carries a lot of baggage: as a simple apology, a social lubricant, and even an expectation-but it's just one of the many ways we police the language of girls. 95
Chapter 8 Movies and Myths of the "Strong, Powerful Female Character": The stories told onscreen-at movie theaters and online-often leave out half the population or reinforce the sexism and underrepresentation we see in the "real world." 111
Chapter 9 Hot Playing Around: Playtimes should be about fun and exploration, but the toys we buy for our kids often undercut the equity and opportunity we want for them. 125
Chapter 10 Throw Like a Girl: Although boys and girls play sports in roughly equal numbers, culturally, sports are still very much a "man's game." 135
Chapter 11 Online Harassment: Girls and women are harassed, abused, and belittled online in ways boys and men can't fathom, and the repercussions are chilling. 149
Chapter 12 Like, Math Is So Hard!: From Barbie dolls to depictions of scientists in popular movies, we tell boys and girls early and often just who the "smarter" sex is. Let's stop doing that. 159
Chapter 13 Black Girl Magic: Lofty goals of raising "color-blind" children do more harm than good. Instead, experts agree it's important to talk with our kids about race and obstacles people face because of differences. 171
The Lifetime Consequences Of Our Early Lessons
Chapter 14 Pay Day: You know there's a "gender pay gap," hut you may not realize how big a role we play in perpetuating it at home by telling our boys to be "leaders" and our girls to be "caretakers. It all adds up to lower pay for women and fewer opportunities for girls-and boys, 189
Chapter 15 Waiting for Madam President: It's no surprise women are vastly underrepresented in government positions when many weren't allowed to vote until a couple generations ago and are still denied today, but what example are we setting for our kids when we discuss our leaders? 205
Chapter 16 Your Opinion on Abortion is invalid: Let's be clear; in our everyday conversations and social media interactions to actual votes cast in legislatures, we put the basic human rights of girls and women on the table as if they warrant male debate, and we need to stop. Now. 221
Chapter 17 Daddy's Got a Gun: In seemingly innocuous and "funny" ways, boys and men perpetuate broader societal notions that girls and women are property in need of protecting, but you can help by no longer laughing it off. 233
Chapter 18 Having "The Talk": For many parents, the talk about "the birds and the bees" is a one-time event, but it should be an ongoing conversation-that starts early. 245
Resources-You're on the Right Path. Keep Going.: There are many, many great resources to help guide you on your journey as you try to raise empowered children, and I want to leave you with some that have inspired me. As they say, the internet is free. 257
