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Second Thoughts: On Having and Being a Second Child - Paperback | Diverse Reads

Second Thoughts: On Having and Being a Second Child

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A lovely, searching meditation on second children—on whether to have one and what it means to be one—that seamlessly weaves pieces of art and culture on the topic with scientific research and personal anecdotes

The decision to have more than one child is at least as consuming as the decision to have a child at all—and yet for all the good books that deliberate on the choice of becoming a parent, there is far less writing on the choice of becoming a parent of two, and all the questions that arise during the process. Is there any truth in the idea of character informed by birth order, or the loneliness of only children? What is the reality of sibling rivalry? What might a parent to one, or two, come to regret?

Lynn Berger is here to fill that gap with the curious, reflective Second Thoughts. Grounded in autobiography and full of considered allusion, careful investigation and generous candor, it’s an exploration specifically dedicated to second children and their particular, too often forgotten lot. Warm and wise, intimate and universal at once, it’s a must read for parents-to-be and want-to-be, parents of one, parents of two or more, and second children themselves.

ISBN-13: 9781250838438

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: Holt Henry & Company Inc.

Publication Date: 10-18-2022

Pages: 208

Product Dimensions: 4.90(w) x 7.80(h) x 0.70(d)

Lynn Berger is the Care Correspondent at Dutch journalism platform De Correspondent. She holds a PhD in Communications from Columbia University and lives in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Second Thoughts is her first book.

Table of Contents

Preface Expecting xiii

1 "There's going to be a baby" A brief history of jealousy 1

2 Bad is stronger than good On the birth of the second child and the resilience of the first 15

3 Again, again On the joy of repetition and the wonder of reminiscence 28

4 A fly buzzing around my ear On siblings and only children 48

5 A pack, a tribe, a tornado Scenes from a family of four 64

6 Thou shalt not compare How we measure our children against each other 72

7 Typical second child On the myth of the birth-order effect 82

8 Shall we read a story together? What parents do differently the second time around 95

9 Time is a currency Raising children costs time, but whose time? 110

10 Long days, short years How children transform time 127

11 The siren song of the easy baby On whether we have children and how many 138

Epilogue On expectations 149

Afterword and further reading 161

Notes 163

Acknowledgments 181