Table of Contents
Introduction 8
Part 1 Getting Started 11
Chapter 1 What Is Nesting? 13
Nesting, Explained 13
What Does Nesting Look Like in Real Life? 17
The Goals of Nesting 19
The Benefits of Nesting 20
Key Points to Remember 23
Chapter 2 Is Nesting Right for Your Family? 25
Assessing Your Ability to Co-Parent Questionnaire 26
Issues to Consider Before Nesting 30
Your Home Away from Home: Potential Living Arrangements 39
Financial Factors 44
Dating and New Relationships 46
How Long Should Nesting Last? 48
Nesting Deal Breakers 49
Making a Decision 55
Key Points to Remember 55
Chapter 3 Developing a Co-Parenting Plan 57
Managing Different Co-Parenting Styles 58
The Mission Statement 61
Scheduling Time with the Children 63
Logistics Related to Your Children's Care 68
New Relationships 72
How to Handle Disagreements That Arise 75
Parenting Plan Worksheet 76
Key Points to Remember 99
Chapter 4 Nesting and Finances 101
Honesty and Full Disclosure 101
Getting Up to Speed with Your Finances 102
Why Budgets Are Important 104
How to Make a Budget 104
Sample Budgets 105
Budgeting Template 115
Getting by with Less 125
Determining Your Nesting Housing Situation Using Your Budget 127
Incorporating Your Budget Into Your Nesting Agreement 128
Review Your Financial Situation Periodically 130
Future Expenses 132
Key Points to Remember 132
Chapter 5 Creating a Nesting Agreement That Works 133
Using Your Co-Parenting Plan As a Foundation for Nesting 133
Little Details Can Make a Big Difference 134
Be Patient with Each Other 137
Making Nesting Successful via Trust 140
Focus On What Matters to Each of You 142
Create Your Personalized Nesting Agreement 143
The Ready-to-Nest Pledge 147
Key Points to Remember 148
Part 2 Implementing Your Nesting Plan 149
Chapter 6 Talking to Your Kids (and Others) about Nesting 151
Use Reassuring Language 152
Talk First with Your Children 153
Talking with Extended Family and Friends 159
Key Points to Remember 162
Chapter 7 Sharing Information While Nesting 163
Practice Active Listening 163
Why It's So Important to Communicate with Your Spouse 164
Remember to Practice "Good-Enough Communication" 167
Sharing Information about Your Children 171
Using Technology to Stay In Touch 173
Check In to Assess Nesting 177
Off-Duty Communication with Your Children 177
Sharing Information with Others 179
Key Points to Remember 180
Part 3 Moving Into the Future 181
Chapter 8 Coping with Your Feelings 183
It's Normal to Feel Overwhelmed by Life's Changes 184
Both Parties Are in Pain 186
Boosting Your Emotional Vocabulary 188
Let Go of Your Anger 194
Key Points to Remember 196
Chapter 9 Taking Care of Yourself 197
The Importance of Self-Care 198
Self-Care and Health During Nesting 199
Emotional Days of the Early Stages of Separation 201
What Is Self-Care? 202
Mental Self-Care Ideas 203
Emotional Self-Care Ideas 205
Physical Self-Care Ideas 207
Spiritual Self-Care Ideas 210
Key Points to Remember 212
Chapter 10 What Comes after Nesting? 213
Preparing for Your Next Steps While You Nest 213
When Should You End Nesting? 214
The Decision-Making Process 217
Things to Consider Before Divorcing 218
Specific Steps to Divorce 222
Issues to Think about Before Reconciling 224
Your Next Steps to Reconciliation 226
Tips for Helping Your Children Transition Away from Nesting 228
Key Points to Remember 230
Appendix: One Family's Story 231
Afterword 240
Additional Resources 241
Further Reading 244
Index 250
