Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

The go-to guide for dealing with the narcissist in your life--now fully revised and updated based on reader feedback

Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in deluded thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So, how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one--so ignoring them isn't really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them.

Now a self-help classic, Disarming the Narcissist is a practical, step-by-step communication guide to help you cope with and confront the narcissist in your life. Based on reader feedback, this fully revised and updated third edition features new information on shame, hypersexuality, and infidelity in narcissism; legal information to help you if you are divorcing a narcissist; and the impact of narcissism on children.

With this how-to guide, you'll learn how to separate yourself from a narcissist's traps, and gain the respect and validation you deserve--while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

ISBN-13: 9781684037704

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Publication Date: 10-01-2021

Pages: 240

Product Dimensions: 8.90(w) x 5.90(h) x 0.50(d)

Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, is founder and clinical director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey, founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, and author Disarming the Narcissist. Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is executive director of the Mindsight Institute and associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine. He is author of The Developing Mind, The Mindful Brain, and other books, and founding editor of the Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology. Jeffrey Young, PhD, is coauthor of Schema Therapy, and founder and codirector of The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC.

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Table of Contents

Foreword vii

Preface xi

Introduction 1

1 Framing the Situation: Toward an Understanding of Narcissism 11

2 Understanding the Anatomy of Personality: Schemas and the Brain 35

3 Getting Captured: Identifying Your Personal Traps 59

4 Overcoming the Obstacles: Communication Pitfalls, Snags, and Glitches 75

5 Paying Attention: Facing Difficult Encounters with a Narcissist 93

6 Addressing Perilous and Hypersexual Narcissism: The Challenges of Shame, Trust, and Betrayal Trauma 109

7 Using Empathic Confrontation: A Winning Strategy for Interpersonal Effectiveness 129

8 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: Protecting Your Children and Supporting Their Wellness 161

9 Making the Most of a Difficult Situation: Seven Gifts of Communication with a Narcissist 187

Acknowledgments 207

Resources 211

References 217