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How to Overcome Your Childhood

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A guide to breaking free from the enduring, and sometimes damaging, behavioral patterns we learned in childhood.


As we try to navigate the complexities and anxieties of adulthood, considering our childhoods can feel like a daunting task. They happened so long ago; we can probably barely remember, let alone relate to, the little person we used to be. But one of the most powerful explanations for why we struggle as adults is that we were denied the opportunity to fully be ourselves as children.

Whether our parents or caregivers were strict disciplinarians, overly fragile, or distant and preoccupied, the way we were taught to act as children deeply influences how we behave as adults. We might have assumed the role of caregiver, become people pleasers, or learned to tell lies to protect ourselves, burying our true needs and desires deep underground.

When we thoroughly examine our upbringings, the larger implications for our adult selves become clear. Once we understand the roots from which our flaws stem, we can begin to correct the harmful behaviors we mistakenly believe to be innate.

This book is a guide to better understanding our younger selves in order to shape who we wish to be today. It explores to what extent we can pin our actions in the present to our experiences in the past, and how we can break free from the learned patterns of our childhoods.

  • CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE for moving on from our childhoods.
  • DRAWING FROM THE PSYCHOLOGICAL teachings of Sigmund Freud, Melanie Klein and Donald Winnicott.
  • EXPLORES POPULAR CONCEPTS such as “The Golden Child,” splitting, and emotional inheritance.
  • UNLEARN PROBLEMATIC CHILDHOOD HABITS to improve our current emotional condition.

ISBN-13: 9781999917999

Media Type: Hardcover

Publisher: The School of Life

Publication Date: 02-04-2020

Pages: 120

Product Dimensions: 4.40(w) x 6.90(h) x 0.60(d)

The School of Life is a global organization helping people lead more fulfilled lives. Through our range of books, gifts and stationery we aim to prompt more thoughtful natures and help everyone to find fulfillment. The School of Life is a resource for exploring self-knowledge, relationships, work, socializing, finding calm, and enjoying culture through content, community, and conversation. You can find us online, in stores and in welcoming spaces around the world offering classes, events, and one-to-one therapy sessions. The School of Life is a rapidly growing global brand, with over 7 million YouTube subscribers, 389,000 Facebook followers, 174,000 Instagram followers and 166,000 Twitter followers. The School of Life Press brings together the thinking and ideas of the School of Life creative team under the direction of series editor, Alain de Botton. Their books share a coherent, curated message that speaks with one voice: calm, reassuring, and sane.

Table of Contents

Introduction

The Forgotten Past

The Secrets of a Privileged Childhood

Emotional Inheritance

Childhood-Derived Challenges

Attraction to Difficult Partners

Snobbish Parents

People-Pleasing

Criticism

The True and the False Self

Shame, Dread and Anxiety

The Golden Child Syndrome

Over-Achievement

Jolliness

Splitting

Ways Forward

The Importance of a Breakdown

Why Psychotherapy Works

Knowing Things Intellectually vs. Knowing Them Emotionally

What We Owe to the People Who Loved Us in Childhood

On Soothing

Beyond Compliance

The Tragedy of Childhood

Becoming an Adult

The Bittersweet Past