Table of Contents
Prologue 7
Me 12
Do You Really Need to “Explain” Yourself? 13
Playing the Victim Role 14
Achieving Self-Love 15
Dealing with Shame 16
Reinventing Yourself 17
Anger Management 18
Good Self-Esteem vs. Bad Self-Esteem 19
Change 20
When Feelings Become Ideas 21
Learned Helplessness 22
Defining Maturity 25
Introduction to a Monster 26
How Important Are You? 27
Denial of the Negative 29
Listening to Pain 29
Looking for Angels 31
I Think, Therefore I Am or I Feel, Therefore I Am 32
Double Bind of Fear 33
Emotional Reality vs. Rational Reality 34
Add: Fear of the Unknown 35
Add Worry Wart 37
The “Overreacting” Diagnosis 38
You 40
Sarcasm 41
What does Your Mirror Reflect? 42
I Love You. Therefore, You Owe Me 43
Constructive Criticism 45
Double Messages 47
People Boxes 48
Setting the Tone 49
The Blame Game 50
Yesbut, the Word that Defeats Communication 51
The Peril of “Fixing” 52
Why is it Always about You? 53
“Kick But” and Improve Communication 54
Creative Tension 55
Us 56
Romantic Love: Is It Real? 57
Being In Love How Long Does it Last? 58
Relationship Fitness 59
Preventive Medicine for Marriage 60
Getting More Personal 61
Unresolved Conflict 62
Why Do Couples Fight to be Right 63
Two words That Always Confuse Communication 64
Togetherness & Separateness in Marriage 66
Love Means Always Having to Say You're Sorry 67
What Do You Assume about Your Mate? 68
Becoming Aware 69
The Seven-Year Itch 69
The Thirty-Year Hump 71
Marital Cancer 72
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse of Marriage 73
The D Word 74
The Sandwich Generation 75
Sometimes on the Way to Heaven 76
Sit Down! We're Going to Have a Talk 78
Spoiling the Child 78
Ten Commandments of Divorcing Parents 80
First Step for Step Families 81
Blending Families 82
Family Values — A Counselor’s Perspective 84
When Trust is Lost 85
Re-framing a relationship 87
And Life 90
Which Land is Your Land? 91
Failure Rejection and Hope 92
The Illusion of Control 93
Letting Go of Hurt 94
Live Into It 95
A New Year Re “soul” lution 96
Attitude of Ingratitude 97
Everyone Suffers from Depression 98
A Cure for Depression 99
Revisiting Norman 100
Grieving Heals 101
Secret of Success 102
Internet Dragnet 103
When All is Lost 104
It’s Not a Problem Unless 105
I Am Entitled 106
Epilogue 109
