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Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond

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A Next Big Idea Club Must-Read Nonfiction Book of Winter 2020 and a Real Simple Best Book of 2020 (So Far)

A revelatory investigation of friendship, with profound implications for our understanding of what humans and animals alike need to thrive across a lifetime.

The phenomenon of friendship is universal and elemental. Friends, after all, are the family we choose. But what makes these bonds not just pleasant but essential, and how do they affect our bodies and our minds?

In Friendship, science journalist Lydia Denworth takes us in search of friendship’s biological, psychological, and evolutionary foundations. She finds friendship to be as old as early life on the African savannas—when tribes of people grew large enough for individuals to seek fulfillment of their social needs outside their immediate families. Denworth sees this urge to connect reflected in primates, too, taking us to a monkey sanctuary in Puerto Rico and a baboon colony in Kenya to examine social bonds that offer insight into our own. She meets scientists at the frontiers of brain and genetics research and discovers that friendship is reflected in our brain waves, our genomes, and our cardiovascular and immune systems; its opposite, loneliness, can kill. At long last, social connection is recognized as critical to wellness and longevity.

With insight and warmth, Denworth weaves past and present, field biology and neuroscience, to show how our bodies and minds are designed for friendship across life stages, the processes by which healthy social bonds are developed and maintained, and how friendship is changing in the age of social media. Blending compelling science, storytelling, and a grand evolutionary perspective, Denworth delineates the essential role that cooperation and companionship play in creating human (and nonhuman) societies.

Friendship illuminates the vital aspects of friendship, both visible and invisible, and offers a refreshingly optimistic vision of human nature. It is a clarion call for putting positive relationships at the center of our lives.

ISBN-13: 9780393651546

Media Type: Hardcover

Publisher: Norton - W. W. & Company - Inc.

Publication Date: 01-28-2020

Pages: 312

Product Dimensions: 6.20(w) x 8.80(h) x 1.20(d)

Lydia Denworth is the author of two previous books, as well as a contributing editor for Scientific American and blogger for Psychology Today. Her work is supported by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, and she lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Table of Contents

Introduction: A New Science 1

1 Fierce Attachment 20

2 Building a Social Brain 43

3 Friendship under the Skin 65

4 Middle School Is about Lunch 91

5 A Deep Wish for Friendship 116

6 The Circles of Friendship 138

7 Digital Friendship 163

8 Born to Be Friendly? 183

9 Deeply Built into the Brain 205

10 The Good Life, Revealed 229

Acknowledgments 253

Notes 257

Index 279

Q&A with the Author 299