Attitudes of Gratitude in Love: Creating More Joy in Your Relationship

ISBN-13: 9781684810055

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: Red Wheel/Weiser

Publication Date: 07-11-2023

Pages: 199

Product Dimensions: 6.50(w) x 6.50(h) x 0.50(d)

Known internationally as an expert on change, M.J. Ryan works as an executive coach to senior executives and entrepreneurs around the world, helping them accelerate business success and personal fulfillment. She combines a practical approach gained as the CEO of a book publishing company with methodologies from neuroscience, positive psychology, and asset-focused learning to help clients and readers more easily meet their goals. Her client list includes Royal Dutch Shell, Microsoft, Time, the U.S. military, and Aon Hewitt. She's a partner with the Levo League career network and the lead venture coach at SheEO, an organization offering a new funding and support model for female entrepreneurs. She's the founder of Conari Press, creator of the New York Times bestselling Random Acts of Kindness series, and author of many books, including Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals. Daphne Rose Kingma is a beloved psychotherapist and relationship guide. She is also the author of a dozen best-selling books about love and relationships that have sold more than a million copies and been translated into sixteen languages and has been a frequent guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show. You can learn more about her work at www.daphnekingma.com. Daphne lives in Santa Barbara, California.

Read an Excerpt

As I practice thankfulness and work with others, I’ve come to know how deeply true it is that gratitude can make any relationship more joyful and enriching. No matter how you feel right now about your partner, your outlook and therefore the situation itself will get better if you simply begin to notice what’s already wonderful about him or her. An attitude of gratitude will not solve all problems—no one thing could ever do that—but it can make all problems more manageable. That’s because gratefulness is a mood elevator; by flooding our bodies with endorphins, it gives us hope. Gratitude also opens our hearts and gets us out of bitterness or resentment, creating a sense of emotional generosity toward the one we love. And from that place of generosity, new possibilities emerge.

The process is so effective that often I find myself in awe. Love with all of its problems seems to be so complex, how could this be so easy? Could it be this uncomplicated? The only thing I can recommend is to experience it for yourself. This little book is a place to begin.

May you find within its pages thoughts and practices that will be stunningly simple for you to use to bring more joy and peace into your most intimate relationship. May your love grow exponentially as you practice, and may the ripples of that love reach out to touch all those around you.

Table of Contents

1: The Key to Living Our Love

2: The Gifts of Relationship Gratitude

• You’ll Feel Closer and More Loving
• You’re More Likely to Stay Together
• It’s Positively Contagious
• You’ll Both Be Healthier
• Conflicts Are Resolved More Easily
• Resentment Melts Away
• The More You’re Thankful, the More You Receive
• You’ll Touch Love’s Mystery and Majesty

3: Myths that Hold Us Back

• I Need to Protect Myself
• Relationships Are Hard
• It’s Dangerous to Be Too Happy
• It’s Better to Be Right Than Close
• You Should Be Just Like Me
• If I Feel It, It’s True
• Feelings Come before Behaviors
• It Has to Be a Certain Way

4: Love's Attitudes of Gratitude

• You Can Choose What to Pay Attention To
• It’s Right to Notice What’s Right
• Receptivity Is Key
• It’s Not about Being a Doormat
• Assume the Best
• You’re Not Perfect Either
• The Other Person’s Quirks Are Delightful
• Love Is Truly a Gift
• You Are a Great Gift Too
• Awareness without Judgment Creates Change
• Love Is the Cauldron in Which Our Souls Are Tempered
• It’s All about Learning
• We’re Here to Bring More Love into the World

5: The Practice of Gratitude in Love

• Just Begin
• Be Explicit
• Practice Truly Seeing
• Make a Gratitude Laundry List
• Do It on Your Own
• Celebrate Your “Usness”
• Give Thanks for What’s Not Difficult between You
• Give What You Most Want to Get
• Remember Your Manners
• Share What Makes You Feel Appreciated
• Receive What’s Being Given
• Do the 5 to 1
• Give Thanks for Being Loved with All Your Foibles
• Recall Your Love Story
• Don’t Forget the Bad Old Days
• Notice Repair Attempts
• Appreciate Love’s Obligations
• Take a Daily Gratitude Vow
• Express Your Appreciation to Others
• Ask a Friend for Help
• When Times Get Tough, Go to the Higher Level

6: The Joyful Journey

My Thanks
About the Author