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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Revised and Updated)

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Revised and Updated, with a New Chapter on Trauma and Anxiety, a List of Resources, and More

Over 7 Million Copies Sold

The cultural phenomenon that has helped heal millions of readers, this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life.

As heard on Glennon Doyle’s We Can Do Hard Things podcast.

Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another—has guided millions of readers toward the understanding that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins.

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent––and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.

This revised edition includes an all-new chapter on trauma and anxiety—subjects Beattie has long felt necessary to address within the context of codependency—making it even more relevant today than it was when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago.



ISBN-13: 9781954118218

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: Spiegel & Grau

Publication Date: 10-25-2022

Pages: 336

Product Dimensions: 8.20(w) x 5.50(h) x 0.80(d)

A pioneering voice in self-help literature, MELODY BEATTIE is the author of many bestselling books—including The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, Beyond Codependency, and The Codependent No More Workbook. In 2009, Codependent No More was named one of the four essential self-help books of all time by Newsweek. She lives in Southern California.

Table of Contents

Preface to the Revised Edition xiii

Introduction xvii

Part I What's Codependency, and Who's Got It?

1 My Story 3

2 Other Stories 15

3 Codependency 27

4 Codependent Characteristics 38

Part II The Basics of Self-Care

5 Detachment 61

6 Don't Be Blown About by Every Wind 73

7 Set Yourself Free 83

8 Remove the Victim 93

9 Undependence 108

10 Live Your Own Life 124

11 Have a Love Affair with Yourself 131

12 Learn the Art of Acceptance 141

13 Feel Your Own Feelings 155

14 Anger 167

15 Yes, You Can Think 179

16 Set Your Intention 185

17 Communication 193

18 Work a Twelve Step Program 204

19 Pieces and Bits 225

20 Soothe Yourself 244

21 Learning to Live and Love Again 270

Acknowledgments 279

Resources 281

Notes 291

Bibliography 299

About the Author 305