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Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Things I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers

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“Dylan Marron is the internet’s Love Warrior. His work is fresh, deeply honest, wildly creative, and right on time.” —Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author

“Dylan Marron is like a modern Mister Rogers for the digital age.” —Jason Sudeikis

​From the host of the award-winning, critically acclaimed podcast Conversations with People Who Hate Me comes a thought-provoking, witty, and inspirational exploration of difficult conversations and how to navigate them.

Dylan Marron’s work has racked up millions of views and worldwide support. From his acclaimed Every Single Word video series highlighting the lack of diversity in Hollywood to his web series Sitting in Bathrooms with Trans People, Marron has explored some of today’s biggest social issues.

Yet, according to some strangers on the internet, Marron is a “moron,” a “beta male,” and a “talentless hack.” Rather than running from this online vitriol, Marron began a social experiment in which he invited his detractors to chat with him on the phone—and those conversations revealed surprising and fascinating insights.

Now, Marron retraces his journey through a project that connects adversarial strangers in a time of unprecedented division. After years of production and dozens of phone calls, he shares what he’s learned about having difficult conversations and how having them can help close the ever-growing distance between us.

Charmingly candid and refreshingly hopeful, Conversations with People Who Hate Me will serve as both a guide to anyone partaking in dif­ficult conversations and a permission slip for those who dare to believe that connection is possible.

ISBN-13: 9781982129279

Media Type: Hardcover

Publisher: Atria Books

Publication Date: 03-29-2022

Pages: 272

Product Dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.30(d)

Dylan Marron is the host and creator of the critically acclaimed podcast Conversations with People Who Hate Me, a social experiment where he connects strangers who clashed online, whether by calling up his own detractors or moderating calls between others. He is the voice of Carlos on the international sensation Welcome to Night Vale, an alum of the New York Neo Futurists theater company, and the creator of Every Single Word, a video series that edits down popular films to only feature the words spoken by people of color. A former writer and correspondent at Seriously.tv, Dylan created, hosted, and produced Sitting in Bathrooms with Trans People, Shutting Down Bullsh*t, and the Unboxing series. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, with his husband, Todd.

Table of Contents

Author's Note ix

Chapter 1 The Internet Is a Game 1

Chapter 2 Conversation Is a Dance 43

Chapter 3 The Everything Storm 65

Chapter 4 The Seeds of Hate 91

Chapter 5 Debate Is a Sport 109

Chapter 6 Empathy Is Not Endorsement 127

Chapter 7 Empathy Is a Luxury 145

Chapter 8 Interrogation Is Not Conversation 163

Chapter 9 The Makeover Illusion 187

Chapter 10 Trash 205

Chapter 11 Recycling 225

Chapter 12 Snowflakes 239

Acknowledgments 253