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De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less - Paperback | Diverse Reads

De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less

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Written by award-winning author, highly experienced mediator, and co-founder of the Prison of Peace project, Douglas E. Noll, De-Escalate gives you the proven process to calm any angry person or volatile situation in 90 seconds or less.

Based on the practical experience of a master mediator and grounded in the latest findings in neuroscience, Douglas Noll offers his proven process—to empower you to successfully and efficiently de-escalate an angry person or volatile situation in 90 seconds or less—and how to apply this skill in all areas of life.

We live in a more socially polarized time nationally and globally than ever before, as arguments easily flare up, aggression and bullying rises, and lines are drawn over politics, religion, and ideology. De-Escalate provides a new set of social listening and communication skills that solve the problem of what to do with angry, emotional people.

The quick and effective techniques detailed in De-Escalate will help anyone dealing with this increase in anger from outside sources or anger in themselves. With simple, easy-to-understand steps, De-Escalate walks you through real-life examples and scenario-based conversations in order to create resolutions, build emotional intelligence, and cultivate empathy and healing. This book will teach the precise tools to master becoming a peacemaker, cultivating ways to co-exist and co-respect others in an increasingly hostile world.

ISBN-13: 9781582706559

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: Atria Books/Beyond Words

Publication Date: 09-12-2017

Pages: 256

Product Dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.38(h) x 0.70(d)

Douglas E. Noll, JD, MA left a successful career as a lawyer to become a peacemaker. He is an award-winning author, teacher, trainer, highly experienced mediator, and co-founder of the Prison of Peace project. This has been the most profound peace training Douglas has conducted thus far in his career. Inmates who have gone through his program have learned and applied deep, empathic listening skills, leadership skills, and problem-solving skills to reduce violence in their prison communities. To learn more about Douglas visit him at DouglasNoll.com.

Table of Contents

Foreword Brit Elders xiii

Introduction xvii

1 The Secret Revealed 1

We Are Emotional Beings 4

The Secret to De-Escalating 9

Three Essential Steps 16

2 Affect Labeling in Action 23

De-Escalating Upset Children 24

Becoming an Empathic Listener 30

The Dangers of Emotional Invalidation 36

3 After Restoring the Calm, Then What? 43

The Range of Problem-Solving Possibilities 45

Results-Based Coaching 48

Creating Accountable Agreements 52

4 Minimum Coercion, Maximum Listening 63

De-Escalating Unresponsive Teens 64

Bullying 76

Fostering Peace Circles 80

5 The Art of Core Messaging 83

How to Core Message Effectively 84

De-Escalating Angry and Grieving Friends 88

Listening to Insults and Disrespect 93

6 Peacemaking in Relationships 99

De-Escalating Intimate Relationships 101

Listening and Problem-Solving with Your Partner 112

De-Escalating After Divorce 123

The Six Needs of Victims 127

7 Be an Affect Label Leader 135

De-Escalating at Work 136

The Nature of Leadership 156

8 The Power of Self-Awareness 159

Developing Emotional Intelligence 160

De-Escalating Yourself 166

The Transcendent State of Egolessness 168

9 A Master Skill for Teachers 173

De-Escalating in the Classroom 174

Listening to Students and Parents 177

10 How to Be Civil in an Uncivil Society 197

What Are Beliefs? 198

Listening to Polarized People 200

When Families Are Divided 209

Afterword 217

Acknowledgements 219

Notes 221

Additional Resources 225

About the Author 227