Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Reclamation 2
The New Masculine Paradigm 4
Three Obstacles 6
From the Core 8
Engaging the World, Prioritizing the Process 9
Diving In 12
Section 1 The Integrated Masculine 15
The Masculine and Feminine in Everyone 17
The Masculine, Nonbiliary, and Same-Sex Relating 19
The Masculine-Feminine Continuum 20
The Integrated Masculine 23
The Conscious Warrior in You 28
Practice Awakening the Warrior in Your Life 29
Masculinity as a Transmission 30
Practice Inspired Impulse 33
Section 2 Leadership and Responsibility 35
The Art of Integrated Masculine Leadership 37
Cultivate the Sensitivity and Structure to Lead Any Moment 38
Practice Enhanced Breathing 38
Take Responsibility for Your Own Nourishment 40
Four Key Nutrients 41
Practice Identify Your Needs 42
Create a Life That Inspires You First 44
Practice Own Your Hell Yeses and Hellnoes 46
Know Your Nonnegotiable Needs in Relationship 47
Set Boundaries in Service of Love 50
Feel Your Partner's Deepest Needs and Desires 51
Take a Stand for Her, Even If She Hates You Momentarily 53
Assume Full Responsibility for the Culture You Have Created 55
Practice Three-Step Dialogue 57
Mastering Meticulous Communication 61
Practice Revealing Resentments 62
Embrace Feminine Criticism (from Her and the World) as a Way to Gauge How Conscious You Are 63
Know Where You're Withholding Your Gifts 65
Evoke (Don't Complain) 67
Practice the Gift of Opening 68
Hold the Pose 69
Section 3 The Power of Breath and the New Currencies of Presence, Play, and Integrity 71
Breath and Embodiment 73
Practice Three-Part Breath 76
Being Present vs. Having Presence 77
Practice Embodied Presence 79
Masculine Integrity in Relationship 80
Masculine vs. Feminine Integrity 81
The Art of the Tussle 85
Section 4 Strengthen Your Nervous System 87
Train Your Nervous System 89
Ground Your Body and Widen Your Awareness 91
Practice Grounding and Expanding 91
Practice Strengthening Your Nervous System 92
Section 5 Prioritize Depth Over Comfort 93
The Magnetism of Depth 95
Practice Contacting the Core 95
Prioritize Depth Over Comfort 96
Finding True Freedom 99
Let Her Appear 99
Practice Widening Awareness 101
Clarify Your Core Truths 102
Section 6 Dancing with the Feminine 105
The Myth of Not Enough Love 107
The Healthy Feminine - Sharing Your Heart 108
The Sacred Feminine-The Gifts of Yearning, Pleasure, and Revealing 109
Practice Exploring Your Feminine 110
Step Consciously into Love 111
Practice Are You Willing? 113
Your Lack of Conscious Leadership Is a Thousand Pinpricks 113
Practice Make a Relational Inventory 116
Know the Difference Between (Unconsciously) Making Her Lead and (Consciously) Sharing Leadership 116
Practice Relational Leadership Dialogue 119
She Wants to Go Someplace She Can't Lead Herself 119
She Yearns to Experience You as Embodied Consciousness 122
Practice Sensing and Connecting 123
She Desires a Man Who Lives with Purpose 123
She Needs a Man Who Can Handle Himself-and Her 125
Section 7 Make Sex an Art 127
Become an Artist of Love 129
Sex Is the Deepest Yoga 130
Practice Three-Part Breath and Sex 132
Create Sacred Containers for Sex 133
Practice Creating Your Container 134
Embrace the Art of Sexual Polarity 135
Practice Wake Up Your Body Before Sex 142
Learn to Pay Exquisite Attention to Her Body Through Your Own 143
Create Space for Taboo and Her Dark Side 144
Know What Nourishes Her Sexually 147
Develop Masculine and Feminine Sexual Capacities 148
Practice Goalless Sex 149
Honor Her No-Love Her Resistance 150
Practice Investigating Her Noes 153
Create Expansive and Connective Sexual Practices and Rituals 154
Make Praise and Worship an Essential Part of Your Sex 155
Section 8 Learning to Lead and Integrate Your Own Feminine 157
Holding Your Own Feminine 159
Practice Do Nothing and Receive 162
Do Your Own Deep Work 162
Practice Writing Out Your Fears 163
Working with (and Overcoming) Fear 163
Own and Transmute Your Negative Beliefs 165
Practice Your Occurring World 166
Let Your Anger Turn to Anguish 167
Practice Breathing Into Anguish 168
Feel What You Have Been Avoiding 168
Don't Compromise Your Heart's Core Truths 170
Reveal, Don't Project 171
Practice Inhaling Jealousy 171
Section 9 Use Other Men to Sharpen Your Sword 173
The Power of Men's Work 175
Healing the Father Wound in a Brotherhood of Men 176
Practice Writing to Your Father 178
Seek Men of Depth 178
Receive Nourishment from Other Men 179
Practice Get to the Core of It 180
Iron Sharpens Iron 181
Ask for Bold Feedback 181
Practice Holding Council with Other Men 182
Become a Leader of Men 183
The Feminine Trusts Men Who Other Men Trust 184
Section 10 Make Death an Ally 185
Death Is Coming 187
Practice Writing Your Eulogy 188
Practice Meditating On Death 189
Practice Tuning into the Death That Surrounds You 189
Practice Reflecting Every Night 189
Feel Death as the Masculine 190
Conclusion 191
The Precepts of Conscious Warriorhood 191
Practice Contemplating the Precepts 192
Eleven Precepts of Conscious Warriorhood 193
Ode to My Brothers 194
Acknowledgments 197
About the Author 199
