I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck: An Everyman's Guide to a Meaningful Life

From The Angry Therapist blog founder and podcast host John Kim comes a guide for men looking to find more happiness in their relationships and more purpose in their life.

The Angry Therapist, who has helped thousands of men find more happiness in their relationships and more purpose in their lives, shares his insights with everyone in this powerful guide--covering essential topics, from vulnerability and posturing to workouts and women.

In I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, Kim delivers the dos and don'ts for stepping up and into manhood, which he defines by transparency and strength of character, not six-pack abs or a corner office. With his signature no-nonsense approach that will make you laugh and think, Kim takes you on a rugged, rough and tumble road trip of self-exploration and discovery, sharing his wisdom and insights, such as why:

Being nice is for boys, and being kind is for menScheduling man dates could make you a better friend, lover, and human beingPeeing in the shower is a sign of a larger problemArguing, judging, and answering, "I dunno" are keeping you from a healthy relationship, a great career, and a happy life

We are not born men. We are born boys. The transition from misery to meaning is an internal process that requires work: reflection, pain, courage, and sometimes, a rebirth. Kim knows because he's been there. The truth is, men weren't meant to just pay bills and die. With this book as your guide, you will love hard, walk tall, and find a life filled with purpose and passion.

ISBN-13: 9780062856340

Media Type: Hardcover

Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

Publication Date: 01-29-2019

Pages: 240

Product Dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.00(d)

John Kim LMFT (The Angry Therapist) pioneered the online life coaching movement seven years ago, after going through a divorce which led to his total re-birth. He quickly built a devoted following of fans who loved the frank and authentic insights that he freely shared on social media. He pulled the curtain back and showed himself by practicing transparency and sharing his story something therapists are taught not to do. Kim became known as an unconventional therapist who worked out of the box by seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, in a CrossFit box. He built a coaching team of his own and launched a sister company called JRNI, creating a new way to help people help people and change the way we change. He lives in Los Angeles.

Table of Contents

Dear Men xi

Introduction 1

Self

#1 Don't Hide 11

#2 Do Walk with Mirrors 14

#3 Do Choose Responsibility over Freedom 18

#4 Do Live a Through-Me Life 21

#5 Don't Be a Double Douche 24

#6 Do Starve Your Ego 29

#7 Don't Fuck with People Just Because You Can 33

#8 Don't Whine 37

#9 Don't Peer over the (Metaphorical) Urinal 40

#10 Don't Be Nice, Be Kind 44

#11 Don't Just Wear the Compassion T-Shirt 47

#12 Do Seek Nectar 50

Health 53

#13 Do Sweat Daily 55

#14 Do Calm the Fuck Down 57

#15 Do Slingshot Yourself into the Present 60

#16 Do Get Out of Your Bubble 64

#17 Do Eat Something Green 66

#18 Do Laugh Hard 69

#19 Do Things That Make You Feel Alive 71

#20 Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously 73

#21 Do Dance (Especially If You Don't Know How) 75

#22 Do Go on Man Dates 76

#23 Do Do Things Alone 78

Love and Relationships 81

#24 Do Respond, Don't React 83

#25 Don't Put Your Shoulds on Others 87

#26 Do Say "I Was Wrong" 91

#27 Don't Be the "I Dunno" Guy 95

#28 Don't Pee in the Shower 98

#29 Don't Tear People Down 100

#30 Do Want to Do the Dishes 103

#31 Do Let Go of Your Partner's Sexual History 105

#32 Don't Place Her on a Pedestal 108

#33 Don't Stop Courting Her 110

#34 Don't Just Netflix and Chili 113

#35 Don't Perform in the Bedroom 115

#36 Do Love Hard 117

Career and Success 123

#37 Do Own Your Shit 125

#38 Do Separate Who You Are from What You Do 129

#39 Don't Punch Clocks 131

#40 Do Be Aware of Your Energy 134

#41 Do Make Your Bed 138

#42 Do Fail, Often 140

#43 Do Have a Firm Handshake 142

#44 Do Enter Rooms Like You Own Them 145

#45 Do Believe in Yourself 147

Communication 155

#46 Do Say No Often 157

#47 Do Try to Understand Before Trying to Be Understood 159

#48 Don't Walk Away During a Fight 162

#49 Do Express Your Fucking Feelings 165

#50 Do Put Your Phone Down 168

#51 Do Be Physically Affectionate 170

#52 Don't Drive Like a Dick 171

#53 Don't Debate Everything 174

#54 Don't Inhale Your Food 177

#55 Don't Text Like You're Seventeen 179

#56 Do Tip Well 181

Everything Else 183

#57 Do Keep Your Bathroom Clean 185

#58 Don't Buy Things, Get Gifts 187

#59 Don't Overuse Hair Product 189

#60 Don't Wear Skinny Jeans 191

#61 Don't Speak to Children Like They're Children 192

#62 Don't Go for the Hottest Girl in the Room 194

#63 Don't Be Afraid of Women 195

#64 Don't Be Creepy 197

#65 Don't Chase, Do Attract 198

#66 Do Hold Up 204

Conclusion 207

Acknowledgments 211

My Man Sheet 213

Recommended Reading 217

Recommended Listening 219