Table of Contents
Foreword Tara Brach xiii
Introduction: How I Discovered the Critic and Found a Way Out 1
Part 1 The Critic: The Big Picture
1 Change Is Possible: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Choice 13
Practice: Looking on the Bright Side 17
2 You Are Not Alone: The Epidemic of Self-Judgment 19
Practice: Noticing the Critic Everywhere 21
3 Imposter Syndrome: If They Really Knew Who I Am … 23
Practice: Recognizing Imposter Syndrome 25
4 Thief of Peace: The Critic as the Cause of Low Self-Esteem 27
Practice: Correcting the Inner Balance Sheet 30
5 You Ate Not Your Fault: Not Taking Your Thoughts Personally 33
Practice: Not Taking It Personally 37
6 How Did I Get Here? The Origin and Function of the Critic 39
Practice: Understanding the Origin of the Critic 43
7 In the Critic's Defense: Understanding the Critic's Point of View 45
Practice: Unearthing the Truth 50
8 From Judgment to Discernment: Mistaken Loyalty to the Critic 53
Practice: Replacing Judgment with Discernment 58
Part 2 Understanding Self-Judgment
9 It's about You, Stupid! How the Critic Attacks Your Innate Value 63
Practice: Connecting with Your Inherent Value 67
10 The Mantra of "Not Enough": Knowing When Enough Is Enough 71
Practice: Cultivating Gratitude 76
11 20/20 Hindsight: How the Critic Fuels Regret 79
Practice: Letting Go of Regrets 82
12 The Inner Boardroom: Understanding the Voices in Your Head 85
Practice: Identifying Your Inner Boardroom 89
13 The Critic's Revolving Door: What Goes Out Must Go In 91
Practice: Finding the Positive in Others 93
14 The Impact of the Critic: How Judgments Affect Us 95
Practice: Reducing the Impact of judgments 99
15 It's All Your Fault: Understanding the Critic in Relationships 101
Practice: Examining the Critic in Your Relationships 104
Part 3 How To Work Mindfully with the Critic
16 Mindfulness: The Power of Awareness 109
Practice: Cultivating Mindfulness 114
17 Hello Judgments: Realizing Judgments Are Just Thoughts 119
Practice: Recognizing Your Judging Thoughts 122
18 Teflon Mind: The Power of Nonidentification 125
Practice: Not Identifying with Your Judging Thoughts 128
19 Keep It in the Family: Recognizing the Origins of the Critic 131
Practice: Identifying the Critic's Voice 134
20 The Joke Is on You: Seeing the Funny Side of the Critic 137
Practice: Finding Humor in the Critic 140
21 Reality Check: Are Your Judgments Really True? 141
Practice: Questioning the Critic's Views 145
22 Sorry, I'm Not Interested: Living with Disinterest in the Critic 147
Practice: Cultivating Disinterest in the Critic 149
Part 4 The Power of Love
23 Befriending Yourself: You Are Not Your Enemy 153
Practice: Healing Your Inner Wounds 158
24 The Power of Vulnerability: The Hidden Strength of the Heart 161
Practice: Opening Yourself to Vulnerability 165
25 The Power of Love: Turning from Self-Hatred to Self-Kindness 167
Practice: Cultivating Self-Kindness 171
26 Transforming Pain: Moving from Self-Harm to Self-Compassion 173
Practice: Developing Self-Compassion 176
27 Giving Up Hope of a Better Past: From Self-Blame to Self-Forgiveness 179
Practice: Fostering Self-Forgiveness 183
Part 5 Beyond the Critic
28 Inclining toward Happiness: Paying Attention to the Good 189
Practice: Reassessing Your Self-Perception 193
29 Who Are You? Seeing the Good in Others 195
Practice: "Just Like Me" Meditation 198
30 Inner Peace: A Life beyond the Critic 201
Practice: Noticing the Peace between Thoughts 204
31 The Critic Toolbox: Defending Yourself against Judgments 207
Acknowledgments 221
Notes 225
Index 229
About the Author 237
