Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macram�
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Japanese-style rope bondage and erotic macramé may look complicated and intimidating, but you can learn the basics of this beautiful, sexy art form today. Bondage artist and educator Lee Harrington takes you step by step through a variety of concepts and ties, giving you the tools to make aesthetically rewarding ropework. Each tutorial is broken down into easy-to-follow photographs by RiggerJay with detailed descriptions of each step, including how to tie all those knots. From restrictive poses that limit movement to decorative rope that accentuates the human form, Shibari You Can Use includes instruction on creating Shinju (chest harnesses), Gyaku Ebi (Asian-style hogtie), Ebi or Kuri (shrimp or ball ties), rope corsets, strap-on harnesses and crotch ropes, and much more. How do you discuss your desires? What if you feel silly the first time? Where do you turn if you’re experienced and need new ideas? What about rope care? Open up the pages of Shibari You Can Use to find answers to these and other questions. Pick up this book, shake off your fears about tying someone up, and get some rope, and you too can learn Japanese-style rope bondage and erotic macramé.
ISBN-13: 9780977872725
Media Type: Paperback(Second edition)
Publisher: Mystic Productions Press
Publication Date: 02-01-2015
Pages: 122
Product Dimensions: 10.80(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.30(d)
Series: Shibari You Can Use
Lee Harrington is an internationally known spiritual and erotic authenticity educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist, and award-winning author and editor on human erotic and sacred experience. He is the author of More Shibari You Can Use: Passionate Rope Bondage and Intimate Connection, On Starry Thighs: Sacred and Sensual Poetry, Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond, Shed Skins: Journeying in Self-Portraits, and Toybag Guide to Age Play and the coauthor of Playing Well with Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Negotiating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities. He lives in Anchorage, Alaska. RiggerJay is a photographer and Shibari enthusiast. He is the photographer of More Shibari You Can Use: Passionate Rope Bondage and Intimate Connection. He lives in Baltimore, Maryland.
Background and Basics Why Bondage? Every person I have ever met who does rope bondage as a Rigger/Artist/Top (the person who does the tying) or as a Submissive/Bottom/Model (the person being tied) has a slightly different reason for doing bondage. A few of those reasons include: • Restraint • Meditation • Inability to escape • Trance • Art • Novelty • Fetish for rope • A partner's desire • Sensuality • Being silly/playful • Trust • Power exchange • Ritual • Masturbation • Consensual torment • Struggling • Sex • Sensation • Sadism/Masochism • Exhibitionism/Voyeurism • Part of role-playing You're not into pain? You can still enjoy bondage. You want to do bondage because you think it's pretty? Fantastic. Is rope bondage a part of your sex life but you don't consider yourself "kinky?" So be it! Being authentic is sexy! What if you want to experience intense sensations? What if you want to use bondage as part of your spiritual life or to show off your skills in public? Then do it. Everyone has the right to play with rope! Safety and Negotiation Find out what your partner is into Some folks desire to be tied up because they want to experience intense sensation and pain. Others are interested in doing bondage because it's pretty and they enjoy sensuality. These two folks, if they want to play together, need to negotiate their interests. In fact, it's a great idea for everyone to negotiate! Find out what your partner is into. Find out what he is not into. Find out if she has limits you need to discuss (some folks don't do sex and bondage, some don't do gags, some don't like to have a submissive role, some want to tie themselves up while you watch ... this is a chance to talk about it). Even if their desires are not identical to yours, that is okay. Both partners can take turns having their desires met, or combine their passions into a single scene. Seeing your partner glow can also lead to you feeling your own joy, even if their specific desires are not what you are into. There are lots of ways to negotiate: tantalizing notes back and forth over email before getting together, formal questionnaires, cuddling up and whispering naughty ideas to each other, or sharing images found online. Find and follow your own personal style for negotiation while remembering that the bulk of communication is non-verbal. "Listen" to what your partner is sharing beyond their words. Negotiation is not a one-time opportunity to learn about your partner's passions. Each time after you play, you both have the opportunity to debrief with one another about what you enjoyed and what you realized you are not interested in. Continuing the conversation around interest and desire helps the next time be even better. The continuing conversation around what each of you are into needs to happen internally as well. By playing with rope, you will likely learn what turns you on, and what you want to do more of. Just because you started your interest in rope bondage because it was beautiful does not mean that you won't delight in bondage where you get a chance to connect with a partner, or have your rope-work involve an element of intense sensations. Enjoying these sensations is sometimes referred to by kinky people as sadism and masochism, but should not be confused with the clinical concepts. Kinky masochists and sadists usually want intense emotion and sensation, not to truly cause or receive harm. Talk about health issues There are a variety of health challenges that can come into play with rope bondage. Go over them with your partner, and discuss any other possible issues that might be specific to your reality as well. Examples include: • Allergies (from the grass fibers of hemp rope, to laundry soaps, etc.) • Asthma • Diabetes • Epilepsy or other seizure disorders • Circulatory or heart problems • Joint challenges • Past injuries • Emotional issues (trauma involving confinement or other triggers) If any of the above are part of your life, it doesn't mean you can't do rope bondage. It just means be careful. If she has an allergy to hemp, use nylon. If he can't have his hands behind his back because of a torn rotator cuff, tie his hands in front of him or at his sides. If they can't be hogtied because of a bad back, try tying them spread-eagle to a bed. Be creative, work through challenges that may arise, have food nearby for diabetic folks, and have medication nearby for those who need it. Don't let health issues stop you from having fun if you can work around them safely. These questions apply to Tops (the person doing the binding) just as well as Bottoms (the person being bound). Does your rope Top have health issues you should be aware of? You should also each ask yourselves, "Am I emotionally and energetically okay today?" If either of you is mad, upset, deeply depressed, intoxicated, sleep-deprived, or just in a bad mood, this may not be the time to tie someone up or be tied up. Remember that issues can arise unexpectedly, such as a hip hurting, or breathing becoming restricted. Thus, keeping a watch on your partner is important. This is why doing bondage alone, or leaving the room while a partner is bound, is inappropriate. If something were to come up health-wise, someone else needs to be there to help get them out of the tie. Places to tie/not to tie Good ideas: Major muscle groups, torso, forearm, lower leg, thigh Decent ideas: Back of neck, hands, feet, upper arm (watching out for pressure on nerve bundles), between the legs, around the waist Bad ideas: Front of neck (choking danger), directly on joints (apply wrist and ankle ties just above the joint) Be aware that each person's body is slightly different, and as a Bottom, you will come to learn your own body and how it interacts with bondage. If something is tingling, pinching, digging in, hurting or just feels "off" — trust your instincts. Your body awareness is one of the important pieces you bring to a bondage scene, and developing that skill is important. Tops, this does not negate your responsibility. Checking in with your partner, avoiding body zones that you know are potential health risks, and staying alert and aware during a scene can help keep you and your partner safe. Restraint may look simple and sexy, but simple issues can become big ones, so stay alert. Staying attentive and attuned to your partner also gives you a chance to connect on a deeper emotional level. Be prepared! Here are a few things I recommend having on hand before beginning your scene: Safety Shears/EMT Scissors/Penny Snips: Whatever you call them, get a pair. These are great because they can cut through rope, but have a rounded edge and safety guard so they don't cut skin. Test them out ahead of time and make sure they work. Have them nearby, not buried at the bottom of the drawer or in your bag. If you prefer a seatbelt cutter or other "safety" style knife, those work as well. Sharp blades and knives are discouraged because they are dangerous to use in a dark room under any sort of stressful situation. Water or other hydrating fluids: People get thirsty being tied up and doing the tying! Consider having a straw for folks tied up to drink through. Caffeinated beverages dehydrate the body, and thus are not what is recommended here. CPR/First Aid training: Just in case something happens, know how to react and help the situation. Having a phone nearby (on vibrate/silent as to not interfere with your private play and connection time) if an emergency arises is also encouraged. Safewords: Safewords are a tool for folks who like to role-play struggle and "non-consensual" fantasies, or who are involved in power/pain exchanges. Choose a word like "screwdriver" or "banana" that probably won't come up in your play. If either the Bottom or the Top says the "safeword," the scene goes on pause. The players can talk plainly and simply, or decide to have the bondage end right then, depending on what you agree on during your negotiation/discussions in advance. If the Bottom is gagged, have her hold a jingle toy or a colorful scarf. If she drops it, you know there is a problem. Safewords are only one option for communicating during a scene. Whatever communication style you choose, set your plan in advance for how you will communicate during your play. Rope: Yup, to do rope bondage, you need rope, or some other material to bind with. Later in this chapter, we will discuss what kind and amount of rope you need. This may sound silly, but I have left my rope in a different room when playing, and had to stop the action to go get it. Optional Items: Marlinspike: This blunted spike used by sailors is a good tool to have if your knots tighten up and are hard to untie. You carefully insert the marlinspike into a knot, between the ropes, and wiggle it back and forth until the knot slowly loosens. Blanket or coat: People can get cold while tied up or after being untied. Having a blanket around is handy. Keeping an "emergency blanket" in your toy bag is useful as well. Towels: Towels can be used underneath ropes for limbs that have suffered injuries, to place under people if they drool or leak other bodily fluids, or to have on hand for cleaning up spilled drinking water. External structures: Beds, chairs, tables, ottomans, pillows, eyebolts, etc. — whatever you want to use to tie someone to, tie someone on, or prop someone up with. If the Bottom will be pulling on the structure, like a post on a bed or an eyebolt, make sure it will hold the pressure. Folks who are tied up and struggling can seem to have superhuman strength! Sex supplies: Dildos, vibrators, condoms, gloves, lube. It's so frustrating if they aren't nearby when you want them. Negotiate for safer sex before you start playing. In fact, some folks don't like combining bondage and sex, or may not be in the mood. Make sure everyone is on the same page before you begin playing, and respect their preferences. Not doing so is not only inappropriate, but may also be a form of abuse due to its non-consensual nature. BDSM supplies: Blindfolds, gags, nipple clamps, whips, low-temperature candles (for wax play), enema rigs, paddles, clothespins. Discuss these things with your Bottom before they are tied up. Consent is key in bondage and other forms of kinky interactions. Kinky play can release endorphins and dopamine, and makes renegotiation mid-scene just like trying to renegotiate from other altered states of consciousness. Make sure folks are "sober" when renegotiating. Wooden dowel or bamboo pole: When doing Two-Column Ties (see page 38), you can use a pole or dowel as one of the columns. Imagine the combinations! Camera: Some people like to record their bondage (especially if it is intricate). Ask each other in advance if photos or video are desired. Remember, if you want to publish photographs anywhere you will need a model release. If either partner says, "only you get to see the pictures," respect that request. This is especially true for images that might appear online — once something is on the internet, you never really know where it might end up and who might see it. Encourage stretching Flexibility is a boon when being tied up. You can hold positions for longer periods, be tied in more challenging poses, and be more comfortable overall. Slow stretches like trying to touch your toes, twisting from side to side, stretching your arms back and various forms of yoga will help keep you from cramping up or having limbs fall asleep as quickly. Also, remember to remove any jewelry that could get in the way of tying such as bracelets, watches, or anklets. Stretching will not make you able to hold poses forever, and even advanced bondage aficionados can only hold some poses for very short periods of time. There are Bottoms who will be unable to do every position in the book, and there are even harder poses that you will see online — poses almost no one can hold. Make sure to modify your ties to work with the person you are playing with, and don't push your body in stretching or in ties beyond what your body can safely do. Ties can be modified for your body reality. And while Tops are thinking about it — you should stretch too. It is best to avoid a back spasm mid-scene. While tying, also keep your own body poses in mind. It is easier to tie someone when they are down on the ground if you are sitting right next to them, rather than bending over and straining your back. Circulation and nerves Let me preface this material by saying that the author is not a medical professional — please do your own research, and if concerned, make sure to consult with a medical provider. Blood runs through the body via arteries and veins. When you tighten ropes at various points on the body, you can cut off that blood supply. This leads to limbs changing color, tingling, losing the ability to grip, going cold, and eventually losing sensation. If this happens, don't panic. A good test for circulation begins by squeezing your Bottom's hand before you begin tying. Have him squeeze back. Tell him that any time you squeeze his hand you want him to squeeze back. Periodically, when the Bottom is tied, check his circulation in this manner. If his hand was warm at the beginning but now its ice cold, can he still squeeze? If he can't open and shut his hand at all, or if there are other concerns such as a slow return of color to a limb when pressure is applied to the skin, it is time to move that limb. Just because you have to move a limb, the scene does not have to be over! Some Bottoms get upset because they feel it is their fault they couldn't hold a pose. To offset these negative emotions, consider saying something like, "Bwa ha ha, I have a better idea. I want to tie you this way instead." As a Top, you can claim the power to change poses. It's an opportunity for you to try something different with your partner. The other issue that can arise from rope bondage is nerve impingement. If the Bottom feels tingling, burning electric shock, or other unusual sensations running down their arms (or other limbs) — act immediately. Move the limb, change the rope, or get them calmly out of the tie as soon as you can to avoid the chance of nerve damage. Bottoms, speak up! If you feel a sharp stab of pain, have a limb fall asleep quickly, or experience tingling sensations, tell the Top. Toughing out any form of nerve challenges is not the course of action to take, especially if your partner does not know you are toughing something out. Even if you are gagged, find a way to communicate these issues, or else your rope bondage scene could lead to serious injury. Three loud grunts allow for a sound from behind a gag, and are unlikely to be confused with any sort of erotic moaning. Unfortunately, nerve impingement is not always noticeable. Weakness, loss of sensation, and loss of movement (such as "hand drop" when the hand stops being able to hold up its own weight or grip anything) might only come to attention when a scene is done. These signs can affect all or part of the hand (depending on which nerve was pinched), the wrist, the lower arm, and sometimes parts of the legs or feet. Nerve challenges can arise with tight binding on any areas that press directly into nerves that run close to the surface of the skin. The inside of the armpit, pinky-side of the hand, outside of the upper arm and back of the upper arm have been shown to cause pressure to nerve bundles. Femoral nerves can be challenged by pressure in the space between the pelvis and upper thigh (in extreme Ebi poses for example), or firm binding around the indent at the top of the thigh. Though this is not an exhaustive list, developing awareness on nerve and circulation systems in the body can be a fun project for people to do together — exploring each other's flesh with your fingers to palpate for the nerve bundles as you build trust and connection. Each person's body is different, so keep that in mind as you play while listening to each other. If after a scene circulation is overly slow to return, there is a loss of mobility, or pain of any sort caused by the rope or the positions — don't be afraid to see a doctor if problems persist. Most medical professionals are more concerned about getting you healthy than they are about your sexual preferences and predilections. Read an Excerpt
Shibari You Can Use
Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé
By Lee Harrington Mystic Productions Press
Copyright © 2014 Mystic Productions Press
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-9778727-2-5
CHAPTER 1
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Shibari You Can Use by Lee Harrington. Copyright © 2014 Mystic Productions Press. Excerpted by permission of Mystic Productions Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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Table of Contents
Contents
Introduction,
Chapter One: Background and Basics,
Chapter Two: One-Column Ties,
Chapter Three: Two-Column Ties,
Chapter Four: Shinju (Chest Harnesses),
Chapter Five: Combinations,
Chapter Six: Rope Corsets and Erotic Macramé,
Chapter Seven: Crotch Ropes,
Chapter Eight: Where Do We Go From Here?,
Acknowledgements,
About the Author,
About the Photographer and Collaboration,