Surviving: Why We Stay and How We Leave Abusive Relationships

Library Journal Self-Help Bestseller

Winner of the 2023 National Indie Excellence Award in African American Nonfiction

Silver Winner of the 2023 Nautilus Book Award

A revealing look at why domestic violence victims stay with their abusers...and how they can ultimately leave. And survive.

One Saturday morning, Gooden is woken up by her husband shoving her off the bed for no discernible reason.

Despite her quick thinking and even quicker footsteps, her husband catches her, his sudden anger inexplicable. No words are exchanged. He begins to strangle her as he has done many times before.

With unflinching vulnerability, Gooden outlines in painstaking detail what she had to do to walk away and how others can use her experiences to escape their own abuse, from skimming the grocery money, to squirreling away personal belongings, to navigating a domestic violence shelter. She offers strategies for overcoming the barriers survivors often face, such as money, housing, overcritical social circles, or, most powerfully: love. Uniquely compassionate when it comes to the heartbreak of still loving one's abuser, Gooden shares how she transformed and extended this love outward, using her story to encourage others to choose themselves. The voice and fire behind #WhyIStayed, Bev Gooden is exceptionally positioned to explore the many reasons victims stay in abusive relationships, and how they can muster the resources and motivation to leave.

Surviving is unlike any memoir of survivorship, given its nuance, compassion, and candor. Above all, it is an exquisitely powerful testament to Gooden's healing, survivorship, and dedication to helping others do the same.

ISBN-13: 9781538158098

Media Type: Hardcover

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers - Inc.

Publication Date: 06-05-2022

Pages: 232

Product Dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.60(h) x 0.90(d)

Bev Gooden is an award-winning social commentator, writer, and creator of the viral social media movement, #WhyIStayed. Her writing has appeared in the The New York Times, the Washington Post, and Time. She has been interviewed on Good Morning America, NPR’s On Point and All Things Considered, among other outlets. She lives in Houston, TX.

Table of Contents

Acknolwedgements Introduction by the Author Part I Chapter 1: Stuck Chapter 2: Choices Chapter 3: Why We Stay Chapter 4: No One Is Going to Save You Chapter 5: A Theory of Justice Part II Chapter 6: Reinvention Chapter 7: Touch Chapter 8: Harm Reduction Chapter 9: Tools for Healing Chapter 10: Good Love Chapter 11: Unstuck Bibliography Notes Index About the Author