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The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People

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A revolutionary guide to friendship and self-care for those who feel alone

When it comes to adult friendships, we’re woefully inept: We barely manage to show up for our own commitments, let alone maintain our relationships. What’s more, we’re living in an uncharted social landscape with new conventions on how to relate—one where actual phone calls are reserved for Mom (if anyone), “dropping in” is unheard-of, and “flaking out” is routine.

The Art of Showing Up offers a roadmap through this morass to true connection with your friends, your family, and yourself. Author Rachel Wilkerson Miller teaches that “showing up” means connecting with others in a way that makes them feel seen and supported. And that begins with showing up for yourself: recognizing your needs, understanding your physical and mental health, and practicing self-compassion. Only then can you better support other people; witness their joy, pain, and true selves; validate their experiences; and help ease their burden.

When “showing up” for others, it’s not the grandest gesture that matters most—it’s how close you come to meeting your loved ones where they really are.

ISBN-13: 9781615196616

Media Type: Paperback

Publisher: The Experiment

Publication Date: 05-12-2020

Pages: 304

Product Dimensions: 6.00(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.00(d)

Rachel Wilkerson Miller is the editor-in-chief of SELF and author of The Art of Showing Up and Dot Journaling—A Practical Guide. Previously, she was a senior editor at BuzzFeed and Vox and a deputy editor at VICE. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Huffington Post, and SELF, and she’s been a guest on NPR, the Today show, and Good Morning America. She lives in Brooklyn with her girlfriend.

Table of Contents

Hello! 1

Part I Showing Up for Yourself 9

Chapter 1 Getting to Know Yourself 11

Chapter 2 Making Space 35

Chapter 3 Showing Up for Your Body 74

Chapter 4 Showing Up for Yourself Every Damn Day 95

Chapter 5 Showing Up for Yourself When Shit Gets Hard 112

Part II Showing Up for Others 141

Chapter 6 How to Make Friends 143

Chapter 7 The Care and Keeping of Friends 163

Chapter 8 The Art of Noticing 190

Chapter 9 When They're Going Through Hard Shit 202

Chapter 10 So, Somebody Fucked Up 248

Final Thoughts 287

Notes 290

Further Reading 293

Permissions Acknowledgments 296

Acknowledgments 297

About the Author 298