The Mystery of Joyful Sex: More Than 300 Ways of Erotic and Intimate Techniques
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ISBN-13: 9781466917613
Media Type: Paperback
Publisher: Trafford Publishing
Publication Date: 09-06-2012
Pages: 224
Product Dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.47(d)
When I started working in an intimate massage parlor, I was convinced my work would consist of, more or less, the same activities that a woman normally engages in during foreplay with a man—meaning sexually exciting him by stimulating his penis with her hand. The only difference between such massage and intercourse—in my and my friends' opinions (with whom I have spent countless hours discussing this and similar topics)—is that during intercourse, a man usually reaches an orgasm inside the woman, while during a massage the climactic moment is external, stimulated solely by the hand of the masseuse. The work seemed easy and attractive, in addition to being well paying. I quickly realized, after my friends and I shared our intimate experiences with the opposite sex with each other, how little I knew about sex, men's sexual needs, their different sexual reactions, or even erotic "tricks" and different techniques of stimulating the penis. Thus, I concluded that working in an intimate massage parlor would enable me to learn those arcana, which I considered extremely beneficial to my intimate relations with men. I knew how much men valued women's knowledge about sex, but I did not know what this knowledge consisted of. My friends had a similar dilemma—we all wanted to be adults, have sex, and impress our peers with that fact, but we did not really know much about it. And so, with much hope I began working in the intimate massage parlor, convinced that my job would be easy, enjoyable, and financially satisfying. I have to attest that I was not wrong, except for a few reservations. I quickly grasped that it was not a game but real, responsible work, which required much knowledge and experience, people skills, sensitivity, a sense of humor, and the ability to establish trust between my clients and me. Trust, the guarantee of full discretion, and a professional approach to each patient and his problems are the basis of success of the "therapy" and the career. I comprehended, only after some time, how stressed out the men who come in for therapeutic intimate massage can be. Not only do they suffer from sexual dysfunctions (which is stressful enough), they have additional stress as a result of being completely naked in the presence of a strange woman. Diminished sexual capability, or lack of one, causes men to be quite sensitive and/or irritable. This is why a masseuse must be conscientious about her every word and reaction. Even though a reaction can be a normal and natural behavior, it may be misinterpreted by the patient. Gaining the patient's trust is at least half the battle in curing their sexual dysfunctions. Many patients become regular guests of our massage parlor, even after they reach full sexual well being and end up in healthy, meaningful relationships because it is the only place where they feel truly mentally and physically relaxed. Only here they do not have to be at their best or prove anything to themselves or their partners, especially their sexual abilities. We realize their reactions are natural—and we treat them in such way. For example, if a man suffers from premature ejaculation, it does not necessarily mean he has a sexual inadequacy. The reason may be his young age, his vast sexual needs, or the lack of a permanent partner. Also, erectile dysfunction in a stressful situation is a normal reaction of the body. Suspecting a man of a disorder in such a situation may, in fact, through the power of suggestion, drive him to one. Men are sensitive about their manhood, and any failure in their intimate lives equals a national disaster. Before I started working in the parlor, I was told that regardless of my experience in the field, I had to complete an intimate massage course. My instructor was a career masseuse who was not only an excellent professional in her field but had a great, natural ability for sharing her knowledge and skills. I strongly encourage those interested in learning the art of intimate massage to take such a course and have the chance to be instructed by an expert, someone who has, aside from knowledge and experience, the gift of conveying that information to others. Unfortunately, not all of us have that quality—and this is where this book comes in handy. During my first session of the course, my instructor said, "You will never be a good intimate massage therapist—and such work will only be troublesome to you—if you do not like playing with a penis, if you only fondle it in order to receive pleasure in return. If such is the case, you should look for a different job." (The same goes for men who want to practice "intimate massage therapy" for women but expect reciprocation of services.) I was always fascinated by the penis. I love to feel it in my hand—its throbbing, the growth of an erection caused by my touch, its hardness. I know I make that happen and draw pleasure and strength from that fact. It amazes me that I can have such control over men—who are strong and physically fit—by appropriately taking care of them. I've noticed that playing with a penis is not only beneficial to men—I always felt great, both physically and mentally, afterward. The more I fondled and caressed it, the more powerful I felt. With time I found out that this feeling of power is simply the energy awakened in a man by arousing him and then transferred to the woman through physical contact. This physical contact could be of any kind and does not necessarily have to be intercourse—which, by the way, is "against the law" in intimate massage parlors (it is only allowed in sex therapy, where intercourse is a form of healing). Anna, my instructor, explained that the work of an intimate massage specialist has nothing to do with the work of a prostitute. Prostitutes offer their bodies and services in return for money to pleasure their clients and satisfy their sexual needs. The goal of intimate massage is to treat ailments, not only those of an intimate nature but including those that manifest themselves as sexual disorders, and many others. To give you an example, Anna talked about the many reasons for erectile dysfunction. She said there does not have to be anything wrong with the penis itself; instead, the man might be stressed out, overworked, undernourished, or perhaps he lost interest in his partner. The reasons are numerous, but the important thing is that our services enable them to feel self-confident, relaxed, and refreshed while we gain a regular customer. Another difference between the work of an intimate masseuse and the work of a prostitute is that the type of treatment a man receives in our parlors is decided by a doctor or masseuse and not by the customer. To us, that person is a patient seeking help, not someone expecting to satisfy their erotic fantasies. This is the key difference and it must be remembered at all times while at work. The work of a therapist in an intimate massage parlor is not unlike the work of a nurse, and just because it deals with the intimate side of life, it does not change that fact. I feel that my work is very important because sexual problems are extremely irritating for anyone experiencing them. Since sex is an important part of life we should not disregard the problems associated with it. The need of specialized intimate massage parlors should now be obvious to those who were unsure of their necessity. They are just like any of the other massage parlors that thrive in our communities. People go there to relieve pain, stress, and anxiety. They go there to get treated, get helped, and get better. And since massage is good for the whole body, it is a logical conclusion that it is good for its intimate parts. To think otherwise is to label different body parts as "good" and "bad," as "holy" and "unholy." The negative effects of such a point of view are so obvious, it's astonishing how many followers it still has. Modern literature that deals with sexual problems tells us that the basics of a successful "therapy" are the exercises involving intimate massage with another person. Of course it is not enough to just know the techniques of intimate massage for healing someone. There are other criteria, such as trust, the patient's mood during a session, the ability to fully relax, the acceptance of one's body and its reactions, overall self-confidence, patience, etc. Partners are not always able to provide all those elements, no matter how much they care about one another. Other times the patient does not want to reveal the problem to someone close to him but wants to seek help from a complete stranger. He prefers to appear healthy and sexually able to his partner. And what about those who are not in relationship, or those who avoid them because of their sexual inadequacies? Should they not have the means for getting better and enjoying a human connection? Of course the act of intercourse is not everything. A conversation, being with the other person, and mutual caressing are important. Touch itself has a great significance in the healing process. Furthermore, endorphins (the "feel good" hormone, amongst other things—but more on endorphins later in the book), play an important role in our bodies. They are released approximately an hour after the start of sexual stimulation. Other research(4) indicates that being sexually active twice a week has a positive effect on the immune system. If anyone still doubts the purpose of the existence of intimate massage parlors, they should try to solve the dilemma of a frustrated woman who cannot reach an orgasm because of an underdeveloped G-spot. In such a case, reaching an orgasm is only possible through regular and skillful stimulation. It is not enough to diagnose the ailment; it still has to be treated—in this instance by intimate massage. Should that woman give up the wonderful experience of an orgasm because she does not have a partner or he is not patient and understanding enough? Of course not, especially since an orgasm does not just feel good, it is good for the body and has a positive effect on its functions. Same goes for male impotence. Sometimes the problem can be quickly solved by changing the technique of stimulation or combining a few. Other times the problem will have a deeper cause and thus require a different approach. This is why it takes a qualified, competent specialist to diagnose the problem. It is unlikely that a wife or lover will be able to do so without prior training. A call girl is not going to be much help either. If anyone still has doubts regarding this form of "therapy", they should try out its effectiveness for themselves. After an hour with a professional masseuse no one should fail to see the sense of intimate massage and the role it plays in peoples' health and general well being. Anna warned me several times to make sure I know that this type of work can be satisfying and profitable—under the condition that I will be determined to thoroughly learn the theory of intimate massage and be able to correctly apply it in reality. "It is a form of massage," she reminded me, "not a game with a patient's body." Unfortunately, many women, young and mature, think otherwise. It is not uncommon to find such a mindset in some massage parlors (for men). The philosophy, as well as practice of medicinal intimate massage, does not share this misconception. A future massage therapist must pass an exam upon the completion of the course. In addition, it is the therapist's duty to keep up with the latest studies and to take additional courses to sharpen his or her skills. Before a new masseuse is able to start a job, she must sign a nondisclosure agreement, which ensures, under a heavy monetary penalty, the confidentiality of the patients' information. It means the therapist must keep confidential the information entrusted to her by her patients, even after she no longer works in her profession. The patients' trust in the therapist and the therapist's loyalty toward the patients are crucial factors in the healing process. A successful therapy oftentimes depends upon fully opening up to a therapist. If at any time a patient has even the slightest suspicion of a breach of confidentiality, the patient can develop a block—which can, in turn, stop or even reverse the progress made in therapy, even to the point of making the problem worse. It is extremely important to remember that sexual ailments are, by nature, a very sensitive subject and that it is men who are usually oversensitive about them. There just is no room for any suspicion that a third party can find out any of their private information. From the beginning, I was reminded to take every patient and their problems seriously, even those whose issues seem to be figments of their imagination. If someone does not feel well, but the problem cannot be diagnosed, it still does not change the fact that something is not right with that person. The subjective experience of each person is what counts. Take this case as an example: a series of tests indicate that a man is healthy, yet he feels unhappy because of—in his opinion—an incomplete erection. It is useless to try to persuade him not to worry; instead, it is better to find an appropriate exercise that will help him realize he is perfectly fine. One more important thing was emphasized during the preparatory course: the ability to accept each person just the way he or she is. Not every man is Apollo and not every woman is Venus. Well, maybe in Hollywood, but not in real life, of course, and that is normal. It is obvious that since every person has anatomical differences, his or her intimate areas are not identical either. Even if something is surprisingly strange or "funny" to us as therapists, we have to make sure to not make that apparent to the patient. The patient has to be comfortable and have a feeling of acceptance by the therapist. Penis size and the speed of the reaction to outside stimuli are touchy subjects for many men, and a reckless word or gesture may be misinterpreted as an allusion to their manhood. It is a complicated matter because one man will think that an erection should occur the moment he sees a naked woman, considering it a sign of health, while another will think that a quick erection is jumping the gun and will be afraid of a tendency toward premature ejaculation. I have had many cases where a man came in for treatment because he was convinced he could not "get it up" any more, yet he showed signs of arousal only moments after the start of the intimate examination. As I have stated before, men are extremely sensitive when it comes to their sexual abilities. If a partner cannot create the right mood or fails to stimulate him correctly, if they fight constantly or she humiliates him (not necessarily in bed, but just throughout the day), then he might not be able to get aroused, convincing himself that there is something wrong with him. In many cases this can be easily reversed if his partner gives him a boost of confidence and shows him some affection, which, combined with the proper stimulation, will give him the psychological comfort necessary to regain his usual abilities, and of course the joy of life as well. The statement "sex sells" is nothing new in today's world. Sex is used to market products in a variety of different industries—from automobiles to magazines and even groceries. It captures the customers' attention by appealing to their sense of sight. In effect, the human body is primarily associated with being looked at and not as much with being touched, much to our disadvantage. We are able to become aroused at the sight of an attractive body, but we can fully interact with that person only through touching and caressing—the most primal yet underestimated forms of communication. It seems that for many people this sort of intimacy is awkward, even inappropriate, so they limit themselves to cold, calculated intercourse deprived of any real closeness. Even if they master the most imaginative sexual positions and techniques possible, they are missing an element, sensuality, without which discussing sex in its complete form is impossible. Sexuality and sensuality are like two spices that must be added to a "meal called life" in order to make it taste right. Unfortunately, as already mentioned in the introduction, many individuals too often give up a gourmet dish for fast food. Some individuals get stuck in the monotony of the unexplored bedroom, believing that's just the way it is, or decide to change partners, thinking it will help them find that long-lost excitement. This is how the logic of the vicious cycle of being unfulfilled is born. (Continues...) Read an Excerpt
The MYSTERY of JOYFUL SEX
More Than 300 Ways of Erotic and Intimate Techniques
By LAURA SCOTT
Trafford Publishing
Copyright © 2012 Laura Scott
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-1761-3
Chapter One
For Those Who Want to Give a Massage Chapter Two
More than Words: Sensual Massage and Other Pleasures
Excerpted from The MYSTERY of JOYFUL SEX by LAURA SCOTT Copyright © 2012 by Laura Scott. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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Table of Contents
Contents
Preface....................ix
Introduction....................xv
Chapter 1: For Those Who Want to Give a Massage....................1
Chapter 2: More than Words: Sensual Massage and Other Pleasures....................10
Chapter 3: From Touch to Massage....................22
Chapter 4: Similarities in the Erogenous Zones....................36
Chapter 5: It Is Worth Knowing....................53
Chapter 6: Oh, What a Massage—Fun for Women....................61
Chapter 7: Massaging a Flaccid Member....................71
Chapter 8: Massaging an Erect Penis....................77
Chapter 9: Testicle Massage....................86
Chapter 10: As Hard as a Rock ... and Other Exercises....................91
Chapter 11: Tradition of Oral Massage....................99
Chapter 12: Intimate Massage Healing....................117
Chapter 13: The Anatomy of Female Bliss....................139
Chapter 14: Arousal, Desire, and Orgasm....................144
Chapter 15: Breast Massage....................147
Chapter 16: The Joy of Intimate Massage....................153
Chapter 17: The Art of Cunnilingus....................161
Chapter 18: How to Awaken Desire—Intimate Caressing for Both....................167
Chapter 19: Erotic Calisthenics for Both Sexes....................170
Chapter 20: Erotic Games....................179
Chapter 21: Intimate Exam: Healthy Fun....................183
Chapter 22: Just for Women: Twenty Two Ways to a "Happy Ending"....................186
Chapter 23: Eastern Wisdom....................188
Conclusion....................195
Glossary....................197
Bibliography & Comments....................201
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