Table of Contents
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xiii
Trauma, Addiction, and You xiv
The Human Connection xiv
The Thread of Trauma and Addiction over the Years xv
An Invitation xvii
Author's Note xix
Chaprter 1 Getting to Know Trauma 1
What It Trauma? 3
Big T, Little t 7
Trauma and You 9
The Losses of Trauma 10
What Influences Trauma 11
Childhood Resilience and Vulnerability 14
The Biology of Trauma 16
Trauma and the Nervous System 20
Chapter 3 What We Know About Addiction 23
Addiction's Two Faces 24
The Signs of Addiction 26
Addiction and the Brain 30
Where Trauma and Addiction Meet 33
When Various Forms of Addiction Interact 36
Addiction as a Family Disease 37
When Denial Fails 39
Chapter 3 Addiction, Trauma, and the Family 43
A Steadt Diet of Trauma 44
Trauma and Abandonment 47
The Trauma of Physical and Sexual Abuse 50
Witnessing Abuse 54
Overlooked and Discounted Trauma 55
How Trauma Encourages Addiction 57
The Trauma/Addiction Cycle 58
The Bottom Line 61
Chapter 4 How Trauma Affects You 63
The Inner World of Trauma 63
Delayed Responses to Trauma 67
How Disorders Pair Up-or Pile Up 82
Making the Turn 85
Chapter 5 Shame: The Hidden Darkness 87
How Shame Arises 88
How Shame Masks Itself 89
Chapter 6 Generational Reverberations: The Long-Term Effects 91
A Mother in Trouble 91
A Son in Trouble 97
Parenthood in Trouble 98
Trauma Bonding 99
New Faces, Old Dynamics 100
Love and Relationship Addiction 101
Details vs. Dynamics 102
Exploring Your Family Tree 103
Create a Family Tree 105
Chapter 7 The Power of Self-Examination 109
Layer 1 Grounding 111
Layer 2 Exploring the Narrative 121
Layer 3 Moving into Your Emotions 123
Layer 4 Connecting the Past to the Present 127
Layer 5 Uncovering and Challenging Internalized Beliefs 128
Layer 6 Learning New Skills 131
Spirituality and the Healing of Trauma 135
Expectations in Healing 136
Chapter 8 Your Allies in Healing 139
Assembling a Team of Allies 141
Your Potential Allies in Recovery 142
The Value of Group Processes in Addiction Recovery 145
Do You Need a Therapist? 146
Finding the Right Therapist 148
What You Need to Know about Trauma Therapy 151
The Role of Medications 155
Reflecting on Your Resistance 155
Chapter 9 Family Expectations, Connections, and Disconnections 159
Sharing Your Recovery with Family Members 159
Staying Connected-with Limitations 162
Setting Healthy Limits and Boundaries 164
Connecting with Siblings 165
Confronting Family Members as an Adult 167
Symbolically Confronting Someone Who Has Died 171
Don't Try to Do It All Alone 172
Chapter 10 Forgiveness and Healing 173
What Forgiveness Is Not 174
What Forgiveness Is 175
When Forgiveness Goes Awry 175
Self-Forgiveness 176
The Force Behind Forgiveness 177
Chapter 11 Creating Your New Narrative 179
Part 1 Describe Your Healing and Recovery Thus Far 180
Part 2 Describe Where You Are Now in Your Healing Journey 181
Part 3 Describe What You Will Do Next 182
Part 4 Envision How Your Healing and Recovery Will Evolve 183
Part 5 Embody Your New Narrative in a Few Key Words or Phrases 184
Part 6 Envision Your Life Five Years from Now 185
The Healing Power of Narrative 190
Embracing Healing and Recovery 190
Appendix 195
Self-Help Fellowships 195
Professional Assistance 201
The Adverse Childhood Experience Study 203
What's Your ACE Score? 205
ACE Resilience Questionnaire 207
