Without looking out your window you can know the way of heaven.
-- George Harrison
The average mind will tell you, "When I get what I want, I'm happy." Upon closer examination the truth is: When you stop wanting, then you're happy. How can that be? It just is.
One person who comes to my yoga class, let's call her Claire, was a walking, talking illustration of this principle. When we first met, there was clearly no peace, no rest, for Claire. Even during yoga practice she couldn't relax. Her eyes darted nervously around the room, giving her a distinctive drunken chipmunk look. An ambitious young actress out to make it big in Los Angeles, she knew all about desire. She wanted money, fame, nice clothes, lots of friends, good eye makeup, excellent abs, you know, everything. She was beautiful on the outside, but obviously troubled on the inside -- restless bordering on extremely agitated. Nothing was working in her life. Her career track was derailing at every turn; she was single, but searching desperately for true love (she almost developed whiplash from checking out all the guys in the class); and she was always out of money.
Before practice, she'd find me and unleash any number of her life-threatening dilemmas. I remember once she had just come back from the car dealership where she was desperately negotiating for a new green Jaguar. She came to class practically quivering with nervous, excited anticipation. She was hoping her credit check would work out and, if nothing else, that she could at least get a three-year lease on the Jaguar (even though the stress of the huge monthly payments was about to drive her over the edge). Her eyes dilating like a nervous cat, she weighed all the options and considered all of the possible outcomes over and over and over in her mind -- and out loud, with me. I asked her, "It seems like you've done all you can toward getting this car. Can you let it go now and be in this moment? Relax, take a deep breath." She took a deep breath in, and on the exhale told me the entire story of why her-credit-might-have-gotten- screwed-up-because-her ex-boyfriend-borrowed-all-this-money-and-didn't-pay-her-back-and-he-never-really-appreciated-her-anyway-but-he-was-really-good-looking. It was a long story. It was a good thing she took such a deep breath. She had a lot to say. This was a typical day for her.
While everyone else in class was quietly breathing in and out, deep in stretch, aware of the peace and quiet of the room, in touch with their bodies' subtle vibrations of life, aware of their quieted, still minds, she'd be doing sit-ups, sometimes obsessing over her toenails. Often she just walked out when the room became quiet.
I'm not the type of teacher to try to force anyone into a mold. You can lead someone to yoga class, but you can't force them to relax. I just let her do what she needed to do and hoped for the best. After a few months of almost daily yoga, she could finish a whole class and meditate for well over a minute ...
Happy Yoga
7 Reasons Why There's Nothing to Worry About. Copyright © by Steve Ross. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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