Table of Contents
Introduction ix
Subpar Panties Alisha Gaddis 1
Santa Jamie Brunton 5
Citizen's Arrest Alisha Gaddis 8
Maid of Honor Carla Cackowski 11
Pageant Kevin Garbee 16
Becoming My Father Jenny Yang 18
Wedding Toast Laura Mannino 22
White Wine Kate Ruppert 25
Yogurtplaceorama Renee Gauthier 28
The Art of Seduction Alisha Gaddis 30
Cat Lady Rebekah Tripp 33
30 Kate Ruppert 36
The "M" Word Alisha Gaddis 41
The Hostess Laura Mannino 45
Cell Phone Rebekah Tripp 47
I Never Alisha Gaddis 50
Asian Goggles Jenny Yang 53
Technically Single Kate Ruppert 55
Art Alisha Gaddis 58
Clown big Around Tanner Efinger 61
Rudolph Rebekah Tripp 64
Nesting Alisha Gaddis 66
Teen Angst Carla Cackowski 68
And Then There's Europe Danielle Ozymandias 71
Christmas in Chicago Renee Gauthier 73
Manners Kate Ruppert 76
New Phone Alisha Gaddis 82
Death by Zumba Moreen Littrell 86
Crushed Alisha Gaddis 90
Eggs Rebekah Tripp 93
Cavemen Alisha Gaddis 96
Audition Kevin Garbee 99
Investment Piece Alisha Gaddis 101
Toast Danielle Ozymandias 104
Consumerism Alisha Gaddis 106
Jury Duty Jamie Brunton 109
Boulder Holder Alisha Gaddis 112
The Spice Channel Jenny Yang 114
The Image of Perfection Alisha Gaddis 118
Berkeley Liberals Jenny Yang 121
Me Kate Ruppert 126
Yay! Alisha Gaddis 129
The Breakup Rebekah Tripp 131
Makeover Alisha Gaddis 133
Manic Pixie Dream Girl Carla Cackowski 137
The Question Kevin Garbee 142
Never Ready Alisha Gaddis 144
In Hot Water Arthur M. Jolly 147
Albinoid I Am Hasalyn Modine 150
Always Awkward Jessica Glassberg 154
Christian Summer Camp Theater Director Jenny Tang 157
An Act of Change Tanner Efinger 162
How to Protect Your Cub in the Wild Alisha Gaddis 165
Forgive Me Father Hasalyn Modine 168
Fluff and Fold Moreen Littrell 170
Yoga Alisha Gaddis 172
The Write Way Kelly Moll 175
Thoughtful Mourner Carla Cackowski 178
On Trend Rebekah Tripp 182
End of Innocence Alisha Gaddis 184
Open-Faced Turkey Sandwich Alisha Gaddis 188
Contributors 191
Acknowledgments 205